Bloodlust
by Darksknight
Summary: There are no victors in war, only survivors.
1. Chapter One- Ulquiorra

There are no victors in war, only survivors.

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><p>Every chapter will be from a different character's point of view. This story will follow the lust arc, and MIGHT end differently than cannon. I'm not sure yet. Anyway, please enjoy.<p>

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><p>[Chapter 1- Ulquiorra]<p>

_What a fool._

The child is called Kurosaki. I know this but chose not to care; he is not worth a name; he is simply a shinigami with bright orange hair. He is no being to me. He is a threat to the palace that I have been put in charge of, and that is all he will ever be.

"Kurosaki-Kun!"

_Damn it._

He means much more to _her_. She's put all her hopes in him- every last ounce of her faith, and she believes that he's going to win. She's a fool, too, that girl. Does she really think we'll let her go so easily? I have no orders to do anything to her, but she's choosing to ally herself with this trash, and that means she could end up falling in line with the rest of the threats to the palace. That would mean I would have to eliminate her- and there is very little that I can do to get around that fact.

_Foolish, foolish girl._

"Get away from Inoue!"

_Or what? You'll kill me? Idiot boy, you were dead by my hand earlier this day, and yet you have come back for more?_ "Very well. I have no orders to harm her." _Now leave._

This brash hotheaded shinigami boy just has to engage me, doesn't he? He is like the sixth espada; programmed to fight, unable to stop himself from tearing down anything that stands in his way. But there is some manner of logic in that brain of his- his abilities have increased since we last fought. Perhaps he can listen to reason. Perhaps he will-

_What?_

He caught my arm. He actually touched me.

And now what nonsense is he going on about? Ah, yes, I see.

"Maybe I can read you because I've become more like a hollow." He's smirking, like he's done something clever- idiot boy. "Or maybe it's because you've become more like me! A human!"

I can't help it. For a single instant my eye turns and I see her, standing there, looking neither pleased nor unhappy. She's at war with herself, it seems. She has yet to rush into her savior's arms, she has not broken down into tears. Either she is wise, to know this is not over, or I wasn't simply talking when I said she is truly one of us now. She wears our clothes, she carries or flag on her body in some manner of speaking, and she has pledged herself to Aizen. Surely all of that has left at least some manner of impression on her. She's not just with them any more- she's sought refuge behind my sword, too.

_Do you feel torn, girl?_ I keep watching her, even as we fight. The last explosion of spiritual pressure would have harmed her if she had not put up her shields. _Is there truly some part of you that is connected to this land of death? To us? … To me?_

After the boy's inspiring little speech I've reached my limit. I am not a patient being, and I cannot tolerate big mouths on such small and insignificant creatures. Don't you realize you will soon be dead? Why not put off the long-winded talks and just give in or flee? The moment you set foot within Hueco Mundo you were destined to fall, don't you understand? It is inevitable.

I am the first to attack, but he is not the first to defend.

She is.

"What is the meaning of this?"

"I- I…"

And here I thought she was torn. Pity, it seems she was merely deliberating her choices. The so-called heart she was going on about earlier has clouded her judgment, I see, and so once more she's fallen in with the trash she so dearly calls her friends.

"Is it because he's your friend?"

"I-"

"Why step in now? What do you think you are doing, girl?" I do want to know. I want to know what she is thinking but now is not the time, she's being confusing and I do not have the ability to stop time and just listen to her.

But then I see.

She's doing it because she _loves_ him. What is love, to make her so ignorant of her position? What place does an emotion have if it is dangerous to the holder? She is a strong woman, why would she succumb to such a pithy bond?

_I'll kill him._ Despite it all I am perfectly able to play this off to my advantage. It only takes a few words about her hesitation to send the doubt back into her gaze, to send the fire back into his eyes, and soon we're fighting again. Not before he tells her to get back, though.

It's a shame that a woman with the powers of a goddess would stoop to being saved- no, coddled- by a brash little human boy.

Nothing can ever be so simple as a plain fight, it seems. Soon enough those small-time arancar girls come crawling up from the basement and to her, looking for blood in their jealousy. The boy is so concerned about Orihime Inoue, but he is blind to her powers. If the girl wanted she could easily defeat them. She just doesn't want to- and that is something I cannot understand, either.

It is his attempts to save her that put her in harm's way. Why does she believe in him so, when he does not believe in her? Why can he not realize her power? Why does she allow those petty low-level arancar girls to torment her so?

I will never, never understand humans.

Yammy comes in to add chaos to the mix. He takes out those two arancar that wished to harm the girl, but of course she's got to heal her tormentors, take her powers and squander them on such insignificant life forms. It's over soon, anyway, and then Yammy turns his sights on her.

"Hey, Ulquiorra, what's the deal with this one?"

Can't that idiot see I'm in the middle of something? I am not one for conversation, let alone ideal chitchat. The Neanderthal has met her before; he's seen her in my care. Does he really have no memory of it or is he so stupid that he cannot recognize her?

He goes after her. I didn't say he could and he still did- has he no brain? She puts up her shield and he still thinks she's an insect for him to crush? What sort of fool can't see her abilities are unique?

The boy gets angry and wants to save her. Always wanting to protect her, as though she is a doll made of glass. Stupid boy. She is not a figurine made of porcelain, she is stone, she is strength, she is fire- but she is not fragile. She can handle herself, and even if she could not, that Quincy will be here soon enough, don't you sense it? Just let her be.

Nothing here makes sense. Everyone is acting without any thought at all.

This boy won't even fight at full strength, even as I continue to injure him. Why?

I glance at her again, taking in her torn sleeves. See, boy? Nothing but her clothes have been harmed. Why did you doubt her? Do you doubt yourself in this manner, is that why you will not rise up to full strength or-

Oh.

"Is it her?" I ask, glancing at the girl again. "Is her presence preventing you from putting on your mask?" She could handle it. This woman can handle most anything.

Still, I want this to be over already. As things are the palace has been damaged enough. I'll move her, back to her cell, perhaps- maybe just down the hall. "In that case-"

"No!" He darts in front of her. Did he think I would harm her? My fight is with him, no one else. "It's not her fault!"

"Then bring out your mask."

"Whatever!" He comes charging at me with that.

Whatever? What is that even supposed to mean? That he refuses? That he'll move her himself? Is he just not feeling up to it? Surely he cannot be so idiotic. It must be a human thing, or do I have to move the moon for him to finally fight at full strength?

He throws up another gestsuga. As if he has not tried before.

It does more harm to her than I, but she protects herself sufficiently, even before the quincy is at her side again. And still the foolish boy goes on about how the archer must protect her. They are all blind.

Suddenly he's talking to me again. He has put so many stops to our fight that I had almost come to believe he wouldn't turn his attentions back to me until I sturck. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Ulquiorra. Here it is. _This_ is the hollowfication you wanted to see so badly." He swipes his hand over hid face, roaring, and all I can think is, _why does he have to announce everything he does? Why is he yelling? So noisy._

For a moment I am surprised by his increase in strength. He really has grown exponentially over a short period of time. But it will not be enough.

He knocks me from the tower and I _cero_ him in return. Neither of us is hurt, and it is then I am able to fully gauge his strength. With the woman out of mind and out of sight, I make way up.

_It is time to take this above the canopy._


	2. Chapter Two- Orihime

{Chapter Two- Orihime}

I want this to stop.

Why do they think they have to fight? It wasn't supposed to be like this. Ichigo can't lose, but Ulquiorra can't be defeated- where does that leave us? Oh, it's an endless cycle of evenly matched strengths, and they'll just keep dancing around each other for years and year and years…

Tatsuki and I used to play Super Smash Bros, and we'd both pick Zelda. Well, she would pick Sheik, and I would pick Zelda, but they're the same character… We'd beat everyone else up in a brawl and then it would be just the two of us, pitted against each other; equally matched. The victor was the one who didn't mess up by falling off or getting distracted.

That's how the fight between Ulquiorra and Ichigo was looking. But whoever slipped up wouldn't just throw down their controller and moan, and the winner wouldn't cheer over a won bet or anything like that. One would die, and one would watch.

This isn't how it's supposed to go.

I'm the princess in the castle, and Ulquiorra is my fearsome guard, and Ichigo is the prince. He recuses me with his cavalry, and the dragon is left behind in the castle, right?

Right?

I was so distracted by the fighting that I actually didn't notice Menoly and Loly sneaking up on me. I thought that maybe they wouldn't want to be so mean since last time, but…

If anything, they look angrier than even before.

I wonder who didn't love them. Who made them like this? Who hurt them? Didn't they have moms or dads, or a big brother like Sorra to make them love themselves? Did hollows have family?

They don't, do they?

I think I understand why they hate me so much. I know why they want to hurt me. And even though I don't like it, I just can't fight them. They're both just so… sad. And even if my pity makes them more upset, I just can't help it. If they think that hurting me will make them feel better, so be it- they can do what they want to me, just as long as it will make them happy in the end.

I've been here for a very long time. Pain doesn't hurt as much as it once did.

If these girls killed me, would Ulquiorra care? Maybe he'd make me a little grave out in the sand. He once told me a story about a beautiful tree, just branches and branches and no leaves, out in the desert. Maybe he'd burry me there.

Uryuu would be so sad. I'm sorry to cause him pain- him and everyone else. Rukia, Chad, Renji… Ichigo.

Would they tell Tatsuki how I died, or would they have to lie to her? Maybe Rukia would use her fancy memory replacer to remove me from Tatsuki's past completely. That thought should make me happy, because then Tatsuki wouldn't be in pain, but I… I want to cry, thinking about a Tatsuki that isn't my very best friend. Who am I if I'm not her friend?

I know it's silly of me, but I wonder if she'll keep playing Super Smash Bros when I'm gone. I wonder, if she does, will she still pick Sheik? And… who will pick Zelda?

It's a very silly thing to think before death, but lucky for me, death doesn't come just then. Yammy inturupts Menoly and Loly before they can do more then tear my sleeves.

Menoly is dead in an instant. I can't heal her anymore; she's just gone. Out of the palace and lost in the sands, but there is still Loly, and so I hurry to her side and begin the process of regeneration.

She's against it, but she doesn't want to die- I can see it in her eyes. I _have_ to help her. If I don't love her, than who will? If hollows don't have families, if Loly has never been cared for once in her entire life, then what else am I to do?

She is a very cruel person, Loly. But everyone deserves to be loved.

I catch a flash of Ulquiorra as he uses sonido to avoid Kurosaki-kun's getsuga.

_Everyone,_ I think. _Everyone deserves to be loved._


	3. Chapter Three- Ichigo

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! If possible, I'll reply to them all today. I hope to hear from everyone again. Anyway, here's chapter three without any further ado.

[Chapter Three: Ichigo]

I don't know why Inoue seems so familiar with this guy.

There's a couple things I'm not so good at. One is remembering faces and the names that good with them, another is sensing spiritual pressures of specific individuals when they're not very powerful. Another is things like identifying emotions.

With that in mind, I have no idea why I'm able to sense the connection Inoue has to this Ulquiorra bastard. Maybe it's the way they walk around each other- the way they fill the space between each other, I'm not sure. But they act like they've known each other for a very long time.

Those words that Grimmjow said back during our battle come to me as the battle between Ulquiorra and I unfolds. _Maybe we messed her up on the inside._

She's not… worrying, like she used to. She's just watching, calmly, waiting. Waiting for what? Usually I'd say she's waiting for me to beat this guy, but she looks like she's just standing there biding time until one of us falls. And she looks like she's got a plan either way.

The Orihime I know would be worrying her head off by now. Even with my fight with Grimmjow she was like that, but with this guy, she doesn't look so sure about what she's supposed to be doing.

She looks like she's… waiting for him to tell her what to do.

No, that's impossible. Orihime's not like that- she wouldn't defect. And besides that, this is the guy that kidnapped her, so… by some logic she should feel a bit entitled to dislike him, right? That's the bond I must see between them. She doesn't like him, right?

Her eyes got so wide when I cut this bastard, though, almost like she was worried for him.

"Kurosaki-kun…"

There, see? She's not- she's not with him. She's worried about _me_, not the enemy.

I'll defeat him. I have no other option but to win this battle. They're all depending on me. Uryuu, Renji, Chad, Inoue. Rukia. I have to protect them, and if that means taking down this guy, then that's what I'll do.

"Why don't you put on your mask?"

_She's not sure. I can't- I can't protect Inoue if she's not sure about what to do. She needs our help, I can't just leave her when she's not sure of herself-_

"Is it her? Is her presence preventing you from putting on your mask?"

I take a look at her over my shoulder, and there's still no resolve in her eyes. She's very patient, it seems, just waiting to hear my answer. She's always been sort of like that, waiting to see what I want or do in a battle before acting, because she's always been reliable backup, but this time is different. She looks nervous, and more so than her usual way of looking because she doesn't want us to get hurt. She's still not sure about what she's going to do.

But now that Uryuu's here, she'll be safe. He can protect her from my spiritual pressure.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Ulquiorra." I give a small smirk, despite the fact that he looks personally offended at the fact I'm having Inoue protected. The bastard must really hate her if he doesn't want her looked after. "This is the hollowfication you've been so desperate to see."

It's always been overwhelming the first second that I pull my hollow mask on. In that moment I can hear him, closer to me than usual, shouting things about destruction and death. He's sick. But he's strong, and he's a part of me, and so I guess it's easier to use him than it is to just suppress him.

And he's more than happy to fight with me.

"_Ohhhh, goody, King, you've found yourself some big prey for once! Tired of getting your ass handed to you, huh?"_

_Shut up. Just help me fight._

_ "As you wish~"_

Ulquiorra looks surprised for a single moment after I charge. My blade managed so sink a little into his, chipping the sharp edge a little, but he quickly backs off, doing a little flip as he goes.

Was there really a time when I thought he fought like a machine? When he goes into battle, his style is an art form- far from mechanical. I can't believe I didn't see it before.

_"He doesn't look too intimidate, Boss!" _My hollow laughs.

_You idiot, look, he's running away!_

_"Oh, I don't think he's running."_

_ What?_

The hollow's silence is sort of uncomfortable as I chase Ulquiorra up to where he's coming closer and closer to the bright blue sky. Usually my hollow side would talk to me the entire time, going so far as to tease and taunt me. For some reason he's answered my life-long wish for him to just shut up. He must sense how dangerous this guy is, then.

Good.

But the silence is still putting me on edge.

_His cero didn't affect me and now he's just going to run?_

The hollow said nothing.

_Damn it! How far is he planning to go?_

I guess I'm on my own then.

It's then that Ulquiorra breaks through the sky- literally. For a moment I almost think that he's made a garganta, but no, little pieces of concrete are raining down around us.

_What?_

I follow him through the opening and out into a new landscape, one of sand and black skies, with a lone moon hanging high up above us.

"Wait a minute," I mutter, "Are we above Los Noches' canopy?"

So the sky was fake all along? That's Aizen for you. Everything nice he's ever showed has only been an illusion. Why do the hollows even fight with him?

Oh, yeah. They want to feast on the souls of the living. If Aizen gets his way, then they'll have an all-you-can-eat buffet. Well, I'm not about to let that happen.

"That's right."

For a second I start, surprised. I'd almost forgotten about Ulquiorra for a second there, but it seems he's answering my earlier question.

"There are two things that are forbidden beneath the canopy of Los Noches." Ulquiorra continues. "The first is," He just keeps staring at me, no emotion on his face. I guess thinking his moves robotic isn't so hard to understand after all. "Grand Re Cero, which exists only for an espada."

My eyes widen. He wasn't even using his most powerful cero? How is that even possible?!

"And the second is," There's more? "The sword release of Espadas with rank four or higher. They are both so powerful that if released, they will mean the destruction of Los Noches."

I can feel his power starting to strum through the air now, heavy and almost wet feeling, like a really dense humidity. It makes it hard to breath.

He raises his sword from where he stands on his pillar and points it down at me, uncaring, face blank as when this whole thing began.

"Imprison." He commands. "Murciélago."

It starts to rain. The liquid falling from the sky isn't really liquid at all, it's slick and it falls like water, but the black and green rain doesn't soak into my clothes or my hair. Every drop that hits me either evaporates into a thin whips of steam or rolls off of my body as though I'm made of glass.

_What_ is _this stuff? Is this… is this really his spiritual pressure? It's so strong it's become a physical form?_

If I was expecting a reply from my hollow, I don't get one.

_Bastard. Why is it that when I don't want you around you can't shut the hell up and when I actually need you you're suddenly mute, huh? Hey! Answer me, damn it!_

Still, nothing.

The rain suddenly stops.

I look up to see if Ulquiorra has moved, but he hasn't. He's just… changed.

I can't help a slight gasp at his new appearance. I've never really thought hollows looked demonic like Rukia says, but now there's no way to say what I see before me doesn't look like it should be ruling over hell as some sort of demon. Everything has changed, from the wings to his long black nails to his hair and his helmet. Even his clothes are different, just like a Bankia release.

Only his face stays the same, and of course, he's as impassive as ever.

The longer, thicker black tears make him look sadder, though. I can't believe I have to finish off this guy. He doesn't even look like he wants to fight. Damn it. He's just staring at me like he wants it to all be over.

I can't move.

I want to attack but I just can't.

He's still looking at me, staring down at me like he'd rather be doing something else, but as usual he's got to do what he's been ordered to do. He's sort of like Uryuu, I guess- the kind of guy that wants things done quickly, quietly, and without a mess. I almost feel bad for the sorry-looking bastard.

_Move._

_Just get it over with already!_

_Move!_

"Compose yourself." He tells me, voice even as it's ever been.

Whatever it was that had caused me to go stiff before, it's gone now. I quickly take up a stance with Zangetsu thrust out in front of me, not giving thought to how I'm taking orders. The time for caring about things like that has long since past, anyway.

"You must hold you stance." He orders. "Extend your consciousness. Do not let your guard down for even a moment."

_He really just does want this to end, doesn't he?_

_Fine then. I'll give him all I've got!_

He almost seems to nod, watching me narrow my eyes in preparation for what's to come. Within seconds he's got a glowing green lance in his hands, and once again, we're at each other's throats.


	4. Chapter Four- Uryuu

Sorry that this chapter is so short; I have almost no experience writing Uryuu, and I didn't want to put too much down when I feel like he's a very short well-spoken person and all. I hope you enjoy!

[Chapter Four- Uryuu]

She's beautiful. More so than I remember.

She's like a flower blooming in the middle of a barren field, a rose of gold in a land of poverty. She's been through a lot, this gentle Orihime, but she's still just as I remember.

Ichigo thinks he has to tell me to protect her? Oh please. I'll protect her with my very life without being asked. I'd take a bullet for her in a heartbeat- no thought about it. She'd be worth it, too.

But, God, what have they done to her? Orihime is the woman who can never seem to stop smiling, but now there's a tightness around her eyes that I've never seen before, and she hasn't smiled at me once since we've arrived. With what she's been through, will she ever really smile again?

I'm not blind. I know she doesn't love me. Up until now I thought she was in love with Ichigo; head over heals and just as blindly devoted to him as I am to her. But after seeing what I had just a moment ago, I'm not so sure.

There was a closeness between her and that arancar that I can't seem to shake from my mind. Could I have been imagining it?

Perhaps.

But she did not seem frightened of him even when he turned his sights on her. Rather, she looked calmly sad, like she'd resigned herself to whatever lot fate cast her. She'll be some what satisfied either way, I think.

That's no good. She's supposed to be crying over Kurosaki. But she's so calm, now, so determined. It's almost like she isn't Inoue at all, but then, she's so her that she couldn't be anyone else at the same time.

Damn it. I'm not making any sense.

The espada's spiritual pressure explodes into reality along with Ichigo's. I turn to her, expecting her to be looking at me with wide scared eyes for reassurance. I expect her to say, _Ishida, do you think he's okay? He'll win, right?_

"Ishida."

She's got the kind of resolve in her eyes she usually only gets when she's healing someone. And I might have known what she was going to ask.

"Do you think you can take us up above the canopy?"

I just look at her, pleading that I've misheard. It would be a mistake to go up there, I'm sure…

"I need to go up there." She softens a little, then. "Please, Ishida."

How can I say no to her?

I've never been able to before, and I certainly can't deny this lion-hearted girl before me. Even though I would soon come to regret my decision, at the time, it was all I could do to nod my head.

_As you wish._

I somehow feel like I'm leading us both to our doom. I feel light-headed with the anticipation of what's to come.

Her eyes are narrowed with the determination of someone rushing headlong into their own fate.

_What's happened to you, Orihime?_

_What did they do to change you so?_

It had never occurred to me that this was how she'd always been. I'd never before thought that the espada hadn't broken _her_ but her shell.

Well. I would see soon enough.

Anyone with eyes would.


	5. Chapter Five- Ulquiorra

[Chapter Five- Ulquiorra]

He's shocked. I find it hard to believe that this foolish boy, who has the gal to call himself a substitute god of death, expected anything less than what I've presented him with. He should have known from the beginning that my spiritual pressure would be far greater than any he has come against before in previous espada.

"Compose yourself."

I want this to be over quickly. I wish this whole barbaric ordeal would just be done with, and if it didn't have a point, perhaps I might think that all would be better if it had never begun.

If he had not come into Hueco Mundo at all it would have been better. If he had stayed dead when I killed him, then this would have been avoided, if he had just taken the warnings and the omens and _run_.

Humans are so unbearably frustrating. Maybe that's why she has such an infinity for him- he is far more of a nuisance than she could ever be, and as things stand, this is the very essence of 'heart' and 'humanity.'

If I must go through with this, it will be final. No do-overs, no draws. It will be a battle at full power, and I will crush him so completely he will never rise up to challenge the strength of the espada again.

"Do not let your guard down, for even a moment." I will not have this battle cut short by a human's mistake. He will understand when I am finished with him- finally, _finally_ he'll get it, and all will be right with this world once more. Perhaps his fall will lead to her understanding as well.

I charge, and instinctively he uses a gestsuga to protect himself. An impressive endeavor for a boy such as himself- if he had not done what he did his head would be resting at my feet. And what understanding would I find in those dead eyes? None. In his deadened gaze there would only be shock.

He's breathing heavily as shards of his mask fall and crack over the sand below us. Blood oozes from his forehead and slips over the cracks in his hollow-armor, dripping down to the roof we stand on.

He's so surprised at this outcome that for a moment I think maybe he really does understand. He's properly gauged the difference in our strength and now the outcome of his life is up to him. All the pretence that he'd put up- all the big speaches and that idiotic confident grin mean nothing now that the both of us have seen how simple a matter it was to shatter what is supposed to be his strongest power.

"Your powers of hollowfication have increased. You were even able to wear your mask longer. And yet, I didn't expect it would shatter that easily."

I draw my lance again. It's time to end this, now that I see the beginnings of despair in his eyes. "How unfortunate."

I throw the lance and he just stares on for ages, yes wide in what could almost be terror. He manages to dodge the first one, just barely, but he was so intent on moving away from the first that he doesn't even see the second until it's upon him.

My power shreds through his shoulder, showering the ground about him in a rain of blood. It hit him too hard, it seems. He goes flying back with a loud cry, growling as he attempts to use his sword to stop himself. He's going too fast, with too much force propelling him.

He can't even stop himself from running into my lance as I zip back behind him to wait.

Sand explodes around us in a cloud of white dust, but I am able to see him as he enters and exists the mass, leaving behind a trail of sand as he tumbles helplessly through the air. His choked scream is enough to motivate me into flying after him again.

I meet him as he touches the ground, stumbling to his feet. I throw myself forward, lance before myself, and stare on as he manages to block. I begin pushing him back through the ground, and he just watches, eyes wide the entire time.

_Well?_

I'm waiting.

_No counter attack?_

"What are you waiting for?" This idiot boy just wants to drag things out as long as possible, doesn't he? "Release your getsuga." If he shows me the peak of his powers I can end this.

"Fire it." I command. "_That_ is when you are at your most powerful." After all, that is the form capable of holding up even against an espada. "Fire it, and I will let you see the difference in our strength."

_This. Will. End._

"You're serious!?" He yells. "You _want_ me to fire gestsuga!?"

He pushes back against me, suddenly finding the will to house strength, and then stares up at me at I take back to the air.

"Allow me to help you with your request!" How eloquent. If only he always spoke so, perhaps I wouldn't feel like I was battling Grimmjow's slightly-more-intelligent twin. "Gestsuga Tensho!"

It is not enough.

"It's just as I thought. You are, after all, only human."

He's so surprised. What a fool. He does not even realize the natures of his own power. It's so pitiful that I go so far as to tell him that his getsuga is very similar to our own _cero_, but he doesn't take the hint as anything more than a taunt. He is, by definition, a complete and utter moron. Oh well.

He's fought well enough. It's no small thing to show him a black cero, but he's earned it. A memorable death is well suited to a character such as he.

His mask instantly shatters.

I am merciless.

As he goes flying through the air, robes shredded beyond repair, eyes still glowing black and gold, I attack again with the sharp tip of my wing. It is very easy to draw noises of pain from this boy now, even though he had been so tight-pressed to stay cool during the beginning. Now he's limp and broken, and no amount of determination in those darkened eyes is going to change that.

His body smashes through a pillar and I think, _There? Do you understand now? You cannot win. Cease this foolishness and accept that you are not powerful enough for this. It is futile, just accept it!_

"Do you understand now?" Things cannot continue like this. His body will crush under the strain of rising back up again before I even land the finishing blow. "I'm afraid no matter how closely your form and techniques resemble those of an arancar's, the difference in our powers will always be as great as that between heaven and earth."

I continue towards him slowly, allowing him time to take in what I have said as well as what has transpired. For a moment there is no purpose for this within my mind. I feel strangely devoid of the will to fight, but at the same time, I will him to grasp the concept of defeat. I would not crush him into dust if I could simply break his bones- I would not throw his corpse to hell if he would turn tail and run back to earth bleeding.

Doesn't he get it? "You will _never_ be my equal."

He stands yet again.

_Why? Why, you foolish, foolish boy? Why do you continue when it is utterly pointless?_

I grow weary of this. His eyes turn back to white and brown- he's lost his greatest power yet, and so why does he stand and stare me down as though he thinks he has the upper hand? There is no trap here, there's no trick up his sleeve. He's reached the extent of his powers, and they- in the end- will only ever be an imitation of my own.

So why?

Why does he continue to stare at me like that?

Why can't he see that he's lost?!

"Getsuga-"

"I told you!" I swipe my lance into his side just as his eyes widen. "It's useless!"

I smash him through another couple of walls and fell an entire pillar with his body. He barely possesses the strength to keep his eyes open and yet he still clutches to his sword so tightly, as though he's ready to fight me.

_How does he still not understand?!_

To the ground, up spinning through the air, through yet another column and back down into the sand- I send him flipping uncontrollably every which-way and he still stubbornly clutches to his weapon.

Does he want to die? Is that what this is? Does he want an execution? There was no devastation in his eyes, so surely he misunderstands.

The humans misunderstand.

Why do they continue to come to meet me, their death? What impulse is it that confuses them? She- she didn't flinch at my hand as it graced her chest and her head, she just stared me down like this boy is now. But why? Don't they understand? I am more powerful than they can even begin to comprehend, so why?

Why fight me?

I pick him up by what is left of his tattered sleeve. He can't even muster the strength to close his jaw or move his eyes to me.

But there it is. And I… I cannot, no matter how hard I try- I cannot understand it.

"Why won't you let go of your sword?"

He groans.

"You've experienced the vast difference in our powers." I explain to him, attempting to regain my calm. "And yet you actually still think you can defeat me?"

He managed a horse choked-out noise of pain. He can barely manage to speak. "Difference… in power?" He takes a few ragged breaths. "That… doesn't matter… at all."

I stare.

He manages to meet my eyes. "You think I'd give up? Just because you're… more powerful than me?"

_He realizes this?_

"From out first battle together I knew that you were stronger."

I can't help the slight widening of my eyes. Has he honestly known this entire time? Did he come up above the dome only to meet his death?

"At this point, no matter how many times I see how powerful you are, it won't make a difference to me." That damn light's back in his eyes. Determination. It makes me sick. "I will see this through to the end. I _refuse_ to give up."

Why? Why, you idiot boy, would you throw your life away?

"You should have realized that by now." He growls. "I… will find a way… to beat you! Ul… qui… orra!"

I just stare at him.

He really thinks he'll win.

He thinks that he can overcome this gap in our strength.

He believes that he's going to emerge from this confrontation victorious.

_Now that is nonsense._ I throw him back down on his back, in the dirt where he belongs. _And I cannot tolerate such a thing from someone so utterly pathetic._

He coughs and splutters for a moment, trying to breath in the dust-choked air as it plumes around him like smoke.

"Ichigo Kurosaki," I begin. "Those are the words of someone who does not know the true despair of defeat."

_I will not stand for this._

_He will be made to understand_

_I care not if it is through example or force._

_He will know he is wrong, and then this will finally be over._

"Since you do not understand, I will teach you." I allow my greatest and only secret to flood the air between us. It does not matter now, nothing but his eventual realization does at this point. "_This_ is what true despair looks like."

My final form complete, I take one step forward, ceiling his fate with the quiet declaration of what he is seeing before him. "Segunda Etapa."

There is no enlightment in his gaze just yet, but there is a subtle kind of horror there that comes only from something so crushingly unexpected at this. That's a step in the direction I want to take him, but he's not learning fast enough just yet. I don't want his pathetic little baby-steps to understanding. I want to see him take this on in _lunges_.

"Among the espadas, I alone have found a way to achieve this second-stage release." I stare him down. "I have no even shown this form to the Great Lord Aizen."

He takes in a heavy unsteady breath and clamors to his feet, sword hanging in his hands- not firmly enough to even be called a grasp.

Frustration surges back into existence. "So you have seen my second form, and you _still_ have the will to fight?"

_He is not so confused that he cannot feel fear, and yet those are not the eyes of someone who has given up. Does this mean he actually thinks he can win? How can this be, how can he be so stupid?_

"Very well." It's decided, then. "I will make you understand my power, even if I have to grind your body into dust."

At this point, I may do just that, because this continuous cycle of beating him only to have him just barely rise back up- still stupidly oblivious to his feet- has gotten much, much too old.

"You will understand."

It is no trouble to rush at him, to grab his damn orange-haired-head and toss him like he weighs nothing more than the clothing he's wearing. I advance towards the destruction his body is making slowly, steadily, better to make him understand I am not hurried about this, as much as I do wish I could be.

But when the dust clears he is _still_ standing, and he is _still_ gripping his sword, and he _still_ does not understand!

I cannot comprehend, I truly cannot grasp, how he does not see what is so clearly placed before him. He has to be totally overwhelmed, I can see it in his stance and the way his eyes have gone so wide, and still!

I grab his sword and stare him down, my eyes full with the promise of death, and then my tail whips him back and away once again. I wonder when he will begin to tire of being airborne only to crash through either pillars or mounds of sand.

_May it be soon._

Ah, he put his mask on. As if that will help.

"You are a fool, Ichigo Kurosaki." I throw another attack at him, sending him further up into the sky. "Why would you challenge an enemy you cannot possibly defeat?"

Most beings want to preserve their life. I can't comprehend this.

I grab his face, sword between his mask and my palm, and squeeze. His mask instantly shatters like glass in my hand, falling from his face and to the ground hundreds of feet below.

He looks like a drowning man, frantically surging up in the waters of a vast ocean looking for breath. But I am the waves of this ocean that now threatens to suffocate, and each time he looks to surface I will force him down underwater again.

I force him through two pillars this time, and even with the noise of their destruction, I can still hear him loudly lose his breath when he hits the first wall.

I wonder, would _she_ try to quiet herself? She is not full of pride, and so I think were she harmed she would scream. And yet, I can't see her being any louder than he was if I were to throw her through a pillar. She would be quiet because… she would not wish to alarm her friends. She would not them to worry, she would not want her tormentor feel like a monster. And they would be. I would be- no- I am.

What is it that causes humans to act so stupid? I'm missing something here, surely there is one organ or brain cell they have that we do not, or maybe they lack what us hollows have, or-

Oh.

_Of course._

"You must do all of this because of the thing you humans call 'heart.'" I realize. Disgusting. "If so, it would seem to be more of a liability than a strength." That woman was wrong. She is not strong because of the heart; it's what got her into this whole mess in the first place. It meant her desolation just as it will spell his destruction.

"What stupidity. Because you possess this antiquated concept of heart, you have chosen to lose your life." I'm almost… angry. I very seldom encounter this feeling, and so feeling it now just furthers my aggression.

He spouts of some nonsense about not being able to see himself winning our battle, saying he fights because he has to win.

He has to win.

For her, hm?

It's a shame. All his powers, _all_ his potential, and he wants to throw them away for a woman who does not need saving.

Who am I to spare him from his own foolishness? He wants to die here?

So be it.

"Have it your way."

And just as I'm about to finish him, just as my tail wraps about his throat and hauls him off of his feet and into the air, she's there. She comes up from the hole I made just before, with the quincy escorting her. She comes in with a stumble, but quickly executes a perfect roll, and soon leaves her friend coughing back in the sand as she runs towards us.

Hm… Perhaps this whole entire thing can be settled with one death. Maybe she'll see, even if he has failed to. Just because one human could not save himself does not mean that it is the same for his entire kind.

I expected she would try to intervene. But she is just standing there, eyes wide, and for once she seems to have nothing to say.

"So you've come." She looks upon me in horror, but not at my form- at what I am doing to her precious Kurosaki-kun. Is she simply incapable of fear? "How nice."

Her eyes are trained on her fallen hero. "K… Kurosaki-kun?"

"You're just in time." Something in me twists as I lift my hand up to his chest, but it's not my issue- I gave plenty of chances and he spent every last one of them in the name of idiocy. "Watch closely."

I've begun to understand her, I think. I know her gasp means she understands what I'm about to do, but even yet I must tell her why, so that maybe in the end she won't have to be destroyed. What is the point in killing her if it can be avoided?

"This is the man you have entrusted your heart to." I tell her. "Observe, as his life comes to an end."

Her scream echoes throughout the endless sands in this world of never-ending night. I am used to hearing such noises, but for some reason when she yells for me to stop, I almost want to.

It does not matter.

This all has to end, whether it be with her scream or her silences, it makes no difference.


	6. Chapter Six- Orihime

Sorry if Orihime is a little confusing this chapter, but I feel like this was the only way to write her in such a terrible situation. I hate to see my princess so sad. So, so sad.

Anyway, thank you so much for all the reviews you've written so far- I cannot wait to hear from everyone again. Until then, please enjoy.

{Chapter Six- Orihime}

I've never wanted to scream so much before. Not… not a scream like I'm hurt or scared, or anything, and not a scream that's the happy kind- like when you find a huge bucket of ice cream hiding in the back of the freezer you completely forgot about. Especially if it's chocolate chip mint.

I want to scream _at_ them. Kurosaki-kun and Ulquiorra and, just, everyone. This doesn't have to happen- we don't all need to fight. Ulquiorra said he's no longer concerned with me, and he said as long as we weren't a threat to the castle he doesn't care. We could all just walk out of here and there's really nothing that would be bad, right?

Oh no, oh no, oh no, we're never getting out of here. Because there's two we's now- the royal we, you know, doesn't _really_ apply here, right? I mean "we," as in me and my friends. Ichigo, Rukia, Chad, Uryuu, and Renji. And then there's the other me- the "we" me and the arancar; specifically Ulquiorra.

Oh no.

He's so angry. Uryuu called him emotionless, I think, but its painted all over his face like pink nail polish on the white carpet- he's so frustrated with how things are going that it's hard for me to believe he's kept his cool this long at all.

Why didn't he just go full strength at the beginning is simple- he just didn't want to kill Ichigo. He wanted for us to get out of his hair.

Now I'm imaging a Chibi me, Uryuu, and Ichigo in his hair, and I'm wondering how that would work with the side of his head that's covered by his helmet. Could we crawl under it? But, it's fixed on permanently, so there must be no space between, so how is there hair there? There's no way it's a hat, right?

It's funny I have time to think about this stuff when so much is going on.

I also think its sort of funny that Ulquiorra looks so upset when I whisper Kurosaki-kun's name. Not funny-ha-ha, just… funny-_oh_. Funny like that 'funny' feeling you get in your stomach just before you throw up- red all over the floor, like three months ago when I had too much strawberry Jell-O while infected with a bug.

Oh dear.

I do this thing where I get super distracted and kind of weird in my own head every now and then. Usually it's when I'm nervous, bored, or sleepy. Now I think it's because I'm all of those _and_ I'm confused about what I should do.

_Help me._

Ichigo throws Ulquiorra right through a wall, and I'm strangely detached. All I can think is that the way the concrete's cracking around us it that the whole palace sort of looks like eggshell when it gets broken. Are we all inside an egg? When Ulquiorra bursts outside will he cry "peep-peep-peep?"

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

M-I-N-D.

Mighty Ichigo Never Dies.

M-I-N-

Maybe I'm Nothing.

M-I-

Missing Instincts?

M-

Melancholy. He looks melancholy.

_Stop it!_ I'm yelling inside my head, watching on frozen as Ichigo zips up after Ulquiorra. _Stop it you two you'll_ kill _each_ _other_ _stop it, stop it, stop it, please!_

They don't stop. They'll never stop, not until one of them is dead. And still it won't stop because I'll rush forward and I'll patch up the loser and it will happen again. Again and again and again until we all dry up and shrivel away and have our bones all moon-bleached until they're stomped into dust by the armies of hollows and oh I didn't use to be so morbid, I didn't use to think these things, why am I so fucked up!?

Oh.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, I can't think that word, I can't think such a horrible word, what's _wrong_ with me?!

I rush over to where Ulquiorra and Kurosaki-Kun burst out of the tower, watching as the bottoms of their feet get smaller and smaller and smaller as they near the fake sky. Ulquiorra sends up a wave of energy from his sword and tears and open before him, and just like that, they're gone.

Do I really want this? No.

Do I _want_ an eternal battle where they just kill and get killed until someone gives in? No, I don't. And do I want them to do it on my behalf? No, I do not.

I make my way towards where they broke through the wall, not really paying Uryuu any mind as he trails along behind me.

I've got to stop this, somehow. Perhaps if I could interrupt and talk to them, they'd listen. Maybe Ulquiorra will let us go peacefully. Maybe he'll let them go if I'll stay. That would be okay, either way all I want is visiting rights. Ulquiorra would give me that, wouldn't he? And in my world I'm in control of my own actions, so even though I know no one will 'allow' me to go, I can still visit Hueco Mundo and everyone here, right? If I want to visit. As things are I just kind of want to crawl underneath a rock and hide for the rest of my life with Tatsuki, who's not part of this war, who will only be quiet and listen while I eat ice cream and cry my eyeballs out.

I will stop this.

I'm determined to even as the spiritual pressure in the air explodes around us, so powerful that we buckle under its weight. I can't help but let out a little noise, and of course Uryuu is concerned about me.

"Inoue!"

I send him a look that hopefully tells him I'm A.O.K. Then I stare back out at the broken sky above us, wondering just what's going on up above our heads. My hair whipping about my head, ends whipping my face, it's not hard to imagine.

_They're tearing each other apart._

_I. Will. Stop this._

"Uryuu?"

He starts before turning to me.

I know there's a slim chance that he'll help me, but I have to try. Even if he tries to hold me back, I'm going to have to find some way to get up above the canopy- two lives depend on it. "Do you think… that by using your powers… you could lift us above that canopy?"

For a moment he stares at me, almost as if he doesn't know who I am. The silence is so heavy between us that I almost start to speak again, to tell him it was a silly idea before I sneak away, as much as it hurts me to trick him like that.

But he looks unsure.

My eyes narrow. "Can you please?"

Slowly, he nods, and within a second he's silently constructed a floating blue platform. He steps on first, and then extends his hand out to me. I take it, carefully, and pretend not to notice how he flinches slightly at my touch.

Have I really changed that much?

I swallow back my feelings and clutch Uryuu's shoulder, letting out a long breath as he circles an arm around my waist. We start up quickly, my hair beginning to stir around us once again.

There's a thousand scenarios flying through my mind, and the only one with a good ending is the one where somehow they run into each other, bonk heads, and fall on the ground unconscious. The others are all far more realistic and end in a lot of blood soaking into the sand.

As we near the gap in the sky Ulquiorra's spiritual pressure doubles, suddenly, to a point I did not think was even possible. It's stronger than any presence I've felt before; so strong that I can _see_ it in the air around us. It's thick and heavy, black and green, so deep and crushing it's like an ocean falling around us.

I know Ulquiorra, and so I understand the nature of his powers in some ways, so it's not as terrifying to me as it would have been. But I can still feel my eyes go wide as plates, my heart erratically jumping inside my chest as my head threatens to split in two.

_Danger!_ My mind is screaming. _Danger, Danger! Brain to Orihime, don't go near there- there's a big bad scary wolf ready to eat you, silly, can't you smell it?_

_Sorry Brain._

Uryuu look horrified. "Wh… what is that!?"

Can he not tell it's Ulquiorra? It's changed, that's for sure, but it's still him-

"Ichigo's spiritual pressure has… disappeared."

_Oh no._ My stomach drops right out of my body and past my feet, falling down to the ground of Los Noches below. For a second I can't breathe. Maybe now- maybe- maybe we're just confused because Ulquiorra's power is so strong. Maybe Kurosaki-Kun got tired and decided to take a nap! Th-that must be it, of course!

We surface, and just like that we both hit the ground. I roll, somehow, and then I'm up and running, the feeling of Uryuu at my back fading fast as I fly through the white sands and towards where the spiritual pressure is at its thickest.

_It smells like death, it smells like death, it smells like pain and sorrow and oh Ulquiorra-kun what have you done?_

He turns to me as I stop. I- I don't want to think about what I'm seeing and so I just stare at him, waiting. He eyes me for a second, t-tail wrapped around… around… around….

"Ah. So you've come." He sounds so, so tired. "How nice."

It's Ichigo. He's being held up over the ground like a rag doll. "K… Kurosaki-kun?" I'm dreaming. This is a nightmare, and I- I can't be seeing this. Ichigo always wins! There's no way that-

"You're just in time." Ulquiorra murmurs. "Watch closely."

_Ulquiorra no. No, don't do this. Stop. Stop. Stop!_

"Here's the man to whom you've entrusted all your heart. Bear witness as his life comes to a close."

_N-no… No… No! Ulquiorra, no, no, no! NO!_

"No!"

He does not stop.

He does not pause.

He does exactly as I knew he would.

And all I can do is scream.


	7. Chapter Seven- Ulquiorra

Short chapter before tomorrow even starts since I'm going to be busy busy busy.

Anyway, thanks to everyone keeping up with this, and happy Thanksgiving. I hope everyone is safe.

On one last note, if anyone's getting tired of the over-dose of Ulquiorra's POV, get ready, becuase I'm going to use Uryuu next time- bless his soul- since he's gotten almost nothing to say and got almost no recognition in this ark. (Damn it Kubo.) Anyway, enjoy!

[Chapter Seven- Ulquiorra]

I think the human expression for what I've done is "Over-Kill." There's some form of humor there, I think, since I did 'kill' him. Whatever joke's there, it's lost on me, and if I had voiced it to the woman I have no doubt it would have been lost to her as well.

Her eyes are so wide I'm afraid she's going to break. She already looks broken- this woman of stone who could not be harmed by anything, torn upon seeing a hole through her hero's chest. How pathetic.

She just stares, on and on for what feels like an entire year in the span of a single minute. Eventually I feel like I have to do something to cause her to un-freeze from her trance, and so I let the object of her affections go. His falling will show her he is dead and gone, and with what I have done even she will not be able to bring him back, so she will finally realize how fruitless siding with anyone other than the arancar is.

"NO!"

She's screaming again.

Her pupils go to a tiny pinpoint, and I have the strange detached thought that it's not healthy for her to strain her eyes like that. It's an odd thing to think, especially when one considers everything that has happened to her in the course of the day. Nothing so far has been 'healthy,' so to speak, so why should I care about her eyes?

She catches his body with her powers, running after him desperately, her whole form trembling as she struggles through the sand. I have never seen her like this, and if the quincy's expression is anything to go off of, I would say no one has.

She's panting and heaving like a fool. She is above that, and I have rid her of that cumbersome burden who dared claim her heart. It's over now, can't she see? Humans are all blind, it seems.

I will open her eyes.

I flash before her and she stops, looking up at me with those broken eyes in a way that claims she feels betrayed. Did she not think I would do this? Perhaps she simply thought I would not murder the boy if she was there to watch. Well, she should have realized my true nature from the start, and so it is her own delusions- and thus her- whom have become the traitor.

_She's delusional, but I will stop this._

"It's useless."

She just looks up at me- almost through me- not seemingly scared of my proximity. Odd.

"Even if you could reach him, it would be a wasted effort on your part. Your powers are not nearly strong enough to keep him alive."

"N- N-"

I cannot tell what she is trying to say. Her head droops like a wilted flower, her eyes swimming with emotions- all changing so fast I can't identify one before another surfaces. The only theme in her gaze is pain, though she appears uninjured. Strange indeed.

"You should save your energy." I continue, trying to be soft, for her sake. "Forget him."

Of course the Quincy has to intervene. He does not possess even a fraction of his fallen friend's power, but he still rises to challenge me for her sake. Foolish mortal, she will not succeed despite your sacrifice- you are the wisest of the party and even _you_ cannot see this? How is it that even he allowed his heart to take control of him?

"How unexpected." I walk forward from the cloud of dust he's created, since sand is all he can manage to destroy. "I studied all who were associated with Ichigo Kurosaki, and of all who surround him I presumed it was you who were the calmest."

"I am calm. As a result, I have the best chance of stopping you."

And here I thought he was the smart one. Either he is lying to himself by saying he thinks he will stop me, or he is simply an idiot with slight intellectual superiority to the rest of his kind that I grossly over estimated.

He's doing it for her, hm? In the end he will only be making it worse for her- she'll have to sob and heave like an imbecilic over his dead body too, and will she ever mend from that? The human mind is a very delicate thing, and if I shatter it so completely that it cannot be healed she will be of no use.

Unless, of course, I don't kill him.

He is fighting for her, and so it would affect her greatly if I were to end his life, too. Well, he can be taken care of easily enough, his only real power comes from his arrows, and there's no way he can draw his bow if I am to do something about that hand.

His attacks are pitiful, and I can clearly see what he's thinking. He believes he can keep me engaged long enough for the woman to bring their hero back from the dead, and from there of course I suppose he thinks it will be history.

He does well enough for a mere boy, I suppose, but I'm doing toying with humans- I already put up with his fallen friend for long enough.

As he rises up above another cloud of sand, looking for me, I use a flash of _Sonido_ to appear behind him. He only has time to say, "Damn it!" before I casually flick him down into one of the remaining pillars with the tip of my wing.

He thinks that if he keeps his distance he'll have a chance, he thinks he can be clever, and he thinks the woman can heal the shinigami boy. But he knows nothing.

"Is that all you have?" I grow tired of this game of cat and mouse.

He shakily stands.

"When you first began attacking me I observed exactly how fast you were able to move. You're merely human, and that seems to limit your capabilities."

His eyes give away his bluff. "Oh, I'm just getting started."

Whatever power he has to show me, I am not interested. Even as he pulls a new tool from his belt I appear at his side, and with a carefully directed force, grab his hand.

I look at it. I can see it's to collect reishi from the air, take my own powers and fire them back at me, but I felt him attack with this weapon earlier- against Yammy- and so I know it's not even as impressive as it sounds.

This is getting boring.

"Is this supposed to harm me?"

He looks overwhelmingly surprised.

I choose that moment to rip his hand off, even as I'm doing it thinking, _Now that he's been dealt with, all I have left is the woman._


	8. Chapter Eight- Uryuu

I'm on break again, so the chapters are going to start coming out on a regular basis once more. Sorry to start out with such a short chapter, but you can bet the next one will be long as hell since it's about Kubo dragging our faves through it. T_T Anyway, enjoy!

[Chapter Eight- Uryuu]

Never before now have I felt pain like this. And yet, my greatest regret- the thing that pains me most about all of this- is that she had to see. I can tell by the look in her eyes that she thinks its all her fault, Orihime has always been like that.

I've got to keep her safe long enough for her to heal Ichigo if we're ever going to make it out of here, in one piece or otherwise. Things aren't looking good, and usually now would be where I would employ a strategic retreat, but I have no choice but to keep fighting.

I wonder, as the espada whips me with the tip of his tail, if this is what Ichigo always feels like. He's the strongest of us all, so he must feel like he can never run, never back down, or everything will fall to pieces. But if this is how he is forced to feel every time we go into battle… I wonder how he has not gone mad.

I'm a disgrace. He tosses me out across the sand like I'm nothing short of a small annoyance, taking his time, walking slowly, eyes trained on Orihime like he's disappointed in her for some reason. I don't understand, and I don't have time to.

Her gasps of fear must mean she's watching me. This is _not_ how I wanted our battle to go. If I have to be beaten, then why couldn't fate at least take pity on me and strike me away from her eyes?

The tails comes at me again and I can't move. I can't even hold back my pained noises as he strikes anymore- I've lost the ability to fight back entirely. Blood is draining fast from the stump of my arm.

_My hand is gone._

My stomach churns and I think I might be sick for a moment.

I can hear her crying. I can't give up- not yet. What will he do to her if I give in and die now? What will happen to her? Will her blood stain the sands in place of her tears? Will she be dragged back to that damned palace with that twisted man as her warden?

I can't- I can't give in yet, but I want to, I want to with every last fiber of my being- everything but my heart is telling me I've lost, to lie down and accept it, to finally rest after all this time…

It burns me, when she calls out to him.

"Help me, Ichigo!"

But then, I can't really say I blame her.

"_Please_!"

If I could have, I probably would have been screaming for him to fight for us, too. The only that would have stopped me from yelling for him would be knowledge of what to was come.

If she had known who would rise up from her desperate pleas, I doubt Orihime would have called out to him either.


	9. Chapter Nine- Orihime

{Chapter Nine- Orihime}

_Help me._

Things… things are all happening much too quickly for me to keep up with. Full stop. I need time to breathe. Full stop. Uryuu needs me to heal him, but I can't with Ulquiorra attacking, and with Ichigo down for the count he can't fight and- and- and-

Breathe, Orihime, breathe.

I can't stop crying. That's nothing new, right? The screaming is a little different, but crying I'm used to. I'm always crying over the others and their pain, the way things have gone for characters in a movie, crying because I know I can't protect anyone like Ichigo does.

It's so, so selfish of me. But for once I want to cry for _myself._

I can't stop myself. I want to live, I want to get out of this war-zone and go to some place with sunshine and ice cream and cute bunnies that Rukia is sure to coo over. I mean- I can't be the only one. Ichigo would love watching Rukia light up as she followed rabbits with her eyes, big smile in place, and Chad would love the sun. Uryuu has always secretly had a soft spot for ice cream, too. We could all go, even Renji, who would probably watch Rukia just like Ichigo would.

_Help me!_

S-so all we have to do is go.

Ichigo will take us there.

Right?

… He's not waking up.

We're never leaving.

We're all going to die here.

"Help me Ichigo!" I scream, throat going raw. "_Please_!"

I should never have called out to him. Ichigo has always been a protector. Born a big brother he had two little sisters to protect from the time he could walk, and then his entire family once his mother was gone. From there it turned larger, spreading to Chad and his friends. And then to Rukia, and then to the world. He's got the need to shield others tattooed in his veins, and so of _course_ calling out for help would get his blood flowing again.

There's… there's just one little thing I forgot.

If Ichigo was dead, then the only thing left inside of him would be the un-dead thing, right? The thing that scared me so much. The thing inside of him I could never bear to look at, even when he had a hold on it.

_The hollow._

It rose up from the sand, fingers curling as they were engulfed in blazing red power, so thick and heavy for a moment I couldn't breathe.

I stop. I stare. And very, very suddenly, I want to run.

_What have I done?_

Ulquiorra is the only one who seems to make sense any more. His spiritual pressure just barely cuts through the crushing for of this hollow's own, allowing me another breath. "This can't be." He says calmly, like simply pointing out that what's transpired before us is impossible will make it go away. "He can't be alive."

_He's not._ I want to get up and move away from him, but it's like I've been covered in ice. I can't do anything but stare at him, heart beating frantically in my breast as my head starts to drown in warnings of impending danger.

Ulquiorra can move. He's not afraid. I- I should move. I should…

"What is that form?" He asks, almost sounding ticked-off. So cool, so icy, ever the distant observer. I should have been more like that when Ichigo was lying dead in the sand. I should have waited for him to heal naturally.

"Who are you?" He knows it's not Ichigo. Somehow, we all do.

The being opens his hand, and as though he's a Jedi from those American movies the hilt of Ichigo's sword goes flying right into his hand.

There's a split second where I notice Ulquiorra's eyes go wide, like he's realized something, but then the Hollow swings his black sword, and the ground crumbles before him.

A scream is ripped form my throat as I'm sent flying, tumbling through the sand. My head cracks against a rock and my neck bends oddly as I do a flip in the air before landing hard on my hands and knees, sand roughly digging and tearing at the skin. I almost skid to a stop before I hit Uryuu, who moves to catch me, stars exploding in my eyes when my skull slams into his shoulder.

Ulquiorra keeps his cool. "Did you not hear me?" he asked solemnly. "I asked you to identify yourself."

The sound the creature makes in response… I can't describe it. Was it a roar, a scream? The only word I can come up with that comes even close to capturing that noise- that awful, terrible noise- is howling.

Ulquiorra figures things out very quickly. I think in his head he decides then and there that Ichigo is gone and that the thing before him is a threat to all of us. He lifts his finger to point and says, "I see. It appears you cannot understand me." And charges a cero.

I think Ulquiorra's eyes went wide, but from where Uryuu and I kneelt in the sand it is hard to say. The thing that was once Ichigo fired back a cero of the same power Ulquiorra has displayed, and together they exploded in a wave of pure spiritual pressure.

Uryuu held me down in the sand, thinking the power of the wind the explosion made might send us both toppling away once more. I tried not to be sick as I noticed the stump of his arm- that ear where his hand had once been- was pressing into my side, soaking my white dress with hot red blood.

Before I could think to even attempt a solution to the problem, my attention was captured by fire.

_Tatsuki was right._ I thought off-handedly. _The world will end in flames. She was right, she was right all along. Tatsuki where are you? Tatsuki?_

Towers crumble in the blast of another two ceros. Chunks of rubble fall around us, some hitting us as we sit small in the sand, but there is little we can do but except the pain and wait for the fight to end.

The creature howls inside the cloud of smoke, Ulquiorra's spiritual pressure suddenly fluxuating in what I know to be pain.

"I can't believe it." I whisper. Ichigo's spitituual pressure blasts over my skin, hot like fire with an acidic tinge to it, very suddenly- killing intent, but something much more sinister than that. "He's so powerful. Is that… really… Ichigo?"

The smoke clears in a gust of wind, billowing out behind Ulquiorra so that we can finally see him. His head is bowed, and his stance is not so powerful as it was a second ago. He's breathing heavily. For a moment I wonder what's wrong, but then I see it.

Horror swells inside of me like a tidal wave.

_Oh my god. His… his arm is…_

He suddenly jerks, and from the stump another limb comes spiraling back into place. I gasp when I see him standing whole again, and for that he casts me a side-glance, eyes laced with some emotion I couldn't understand.

He looks back at his new arm, then, and flexes his claws. He seems satisfied. "My greatest strength is not in my attack." He admits out-loud. "It's in my ability to regenerate."

He looks back up at Ichigo, the hollow, and lowers his new hand. "I am unique." He further explains. "In exchange for immense strength, most arancar lose their ability to regenerate at ultra-high speed. I alone am able to regenerate all of my body parts at high-speed."

I swallow. For some reason, it feels almost like he's telling us all this because he feels like someone should know before… things end. I understand. Either way his secret doesn't matter now. Either he dies with us knowing how powerful he truly was, or we loose and take his secret to the grave.

"All but my brain, and internal organs." He continues. "I don't know how you took on that form, but it won't be enough of an advantage. You saw what happened when you tore off my arm. I was able to regenerate it quite easily."

I've seen this before. He wants his opponent to understand what's happening to him. I think, maybe, that he hates to see confusion in someone's eyes when they die. I believe that what he's looking for in victory is bitter acceptance.

"Defeating me will be impossible." He says. "As you're about to discover."

And from his hands he creates a lance of green light, which pierces through the smoke and tints everything an eeiry aqua in the moonlight. It lights up his eyes and make them look even more yellow than before, it casts shadows on his face and makes his tear streaks look deeper, thicker, and blacker.

"Don't move." He commands the hollow. "Stay right where you are."

"If possible," I must have imagined his eyes flickering over to me for a moment. I must have. For the second I thought I noticed it his eyes were back on the hollow before him, and he said, "I would like to avoid releasing this attack at close-range."

He throws the lance.

And he misses.

That turquoise light bursts in the distance, flaring up to the sky with the force of an atom bomb. It blows the smoke away, it puts the fires out, it sends the sand up against the palace in a wave like a tsunami. The force of it crumbles several towers, sending segment and marble fragments raining down around us in a hail of shattered pieces.

I just cover my ears and press myself to the ground, frantically hoping I won't be swiped away in the torrent of wind the blast created. My eyes firmly shut against the stinging pricks of the sand, I wait.

I faintly hear him say, "I'll try again."

_Again!?_

"It's always been very difficult to control."

And just like that, he forms another lance in his palms, ready to unleash hell for a second time. I don't want to watch, and so I don't. I just tightly squint my eyes and wait for the blast.

It never comes.

When I open my eyes it takes me a moment to see Ulquiorra up in the air, and a moment more to see Ichigo's hollow suddenly appear at his side. The hollow grabs Ulquiorra's head, talons crushing into the flesh, and then he simply drags Ulquiorra's body straight through the stone.

I'm so, so thankful to have been far away from him at that time. I don't know just what my heart can take- but I doubt I would have been able to stand a single noise of pain from that man.

_I don't want to see this, I don't want to see this!_

I can't tear my eyes away.

"Ichigo…"

_Is that really him? Is… Is Ichigo protecting me? Surely he-_

I gasp.

_Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god._

_That's not Ichigo! That's not Ichigo! Ichigo would never- He'd never- He'd, He'd-_

He'd never keep hold of someone's severed arm. And he would most certainly never use someone's amputated arm as a weapon against them. Ulquiorra isn't intimidated, but I am. I want to run and hide under a rock somewhere far, far away, where there are no Hollowfied versions of Ichigo tearing enemies limb from limb, a place where Ulquiorra doesn't glance at us and zip away from out spot like he's trying to keep us safe, a world where things make sense and I can be happy!

But I'm stuck here, in the world of death, where a monster that had once been the object of my heart's desire catches a lance with the power of a bomb and crushes it in his bare hand, the thing shattering with a loud haunting noise close to an abused violin.

I'm stuck in a _horror_ movie.

What else could it be, when I'm sitting watching Ulquiorra's eyes go wide, when I clearly hear his gasp, where I can almost smell the very begnings of what could be fear?

With a blast the sand and dust clear from the air, flying back out around the palace, and supply Uryuu and I with a very clear view of something neither of us wanted to witness. The hollow swung his sword down over Ulquiorra's head, sending one slender horn flying up into the moonlight, and a rain of blood to the ground below.

Ulquiorra hits the ground with a crash that rings of finality.

"Is it over?" Uryuu breathes.

My vision swims and I think I might pass out. Is it over? No. It's not.

Ulquiorra stares up at the creature that had once been Ichigo, eyes distant and almost sad. "Damn it all." He says softly. "I never thought it was possible. To be defeated by a hollowfied human."

The hollow just stands there, unmoving.

"It's… ludicrous." Ulquiorra manages.

_Oh God._

I hear it this time. Ulquiorra's grunt of pain as he's slammed down into the cement, skull breaking through the top layer to imbed in the ground. The creature's foot made sure of it, with all the force he put into the stomp aimed at Ulquiorra's face.

He starts to charge up a cero.

My eyes go wide and my mouth drops open. This can't be. There's no way. No way, no way, no way. What is he doing?!

Ulquiorra looks bitterly resigned as he whispers, "I should have known there's be no mercy. So typical of a hollow." He just stares up at the creature, looking straight into the cero meant to blast his head apart. "Go ahead." He says softly. "You've won, I've lost. My life no longer has any meaning." With a final hard acceptance lingering in his tone, he says, "Do it."

And he does.


	10. Short Chapter- Ten -Rukia

{Rukia- Short Chapter- ten}

We were unable to get to the fighting up above the canopy where Ichigo was, thanks to the left-overs down stairs. I'd secretly been following his spiritual pressure as long as I could, but our tasks grew heavy enough that I had to put it out of mind, even as it warped and tripled in strength.

_It's just his mask._ I chastised myself. _He can do this. It's okay._

It was enough that I could feel it again. For a short time it had disappeared from the back of my mind, and at that time my knees had felt week with the conclusion I drew.

I'd figured everything was okay until the blast of red cero energy that tore through the canopy.

"That spiritual pressure…"

I don't think that I have ever felt my features harden into such a grave face as they did then. That _thing_ was a cero blast. Cero blasts were made by hollows.

"… Could it be…"

It was made of a spiritual pressure I recognized- one I held very dearly to my heart. It had changed so much in the last couple of minutes, but even with this new signature there was no mistaking it.

"…Ichigo?"

What fear might have been in my heart the moment I lost track of his spiritual pressure, it was dwarfed in comparison to the crushing terror I was consumed by then.

_Don't take him away from me. Not again. _Never_ again._


	11. Chapter Eleven- Ulquiorra

[Chapter Eleven- Ulquiorra]

So, it's come to this, has it? My limp body dangling from a hole in the canopy of Los Noches, held there by the very tip of my wing.

One wing is gone, an arm, a leg. He incinerated most of my body. There are no words to describe the broiling of blood being seared off the bone, the agonizing dry pain that comes with bones turning into ash. If I'd had even a fraction less of my self-control, or a pain tolerance even a miniscule shorter than what I do possess, or had I expected anything less I surely would have screamed.

As things are I just wait for the end. I do not fear death, for I care very little what is to come from it. If I will disappear into nothing then so be it, and if there is any other fate outside of this possibility I shall cope.

I'm… glad. Glad that the woman put her shield up. If one of us is to die from this conflict it is better it be I than her. We both still have much to understand, but she is the one who most deserves it. I've drawn this conclusion not because she has made me soft or anything similar- it is simply the truth of the matter.

The Hollow lifts me by the tip of my wing and throws me as though I weigh nothing. His strength certainly is annoying.

He must know I haven't the strength or will left to move. He moves towards me lazily, as if daring me to run so that he may chase, like some sort of dog toying with his prey. If he is hoping for anything more than what he will receive he is poorly mistaken. I, unlike the man he once was, can understand the concept of defeat.

He holds his sword up over my head.

_So, he'll dismember me? Carve my body up as he so pleases? Fine then. He may do as he wishes. It's over._

After all, us hollows have no form of memorial. There will be no burial, no human words of goodbyes to the body. It doesn't matter what happens to my face or my arms or legs when I am dead, they will simply be flesh. He can carve them up all he wants.

I had not realized that Quincy humans were capable of flash-step, but that boy with the missing hand is there in an instant, defending me. How very much like the woman of him- stepping in for someone who had caused him pain. It is clear to me now why he must have feelings for her- I have seen them in his eyes when he casts any look her way. He must aspire for her kindness.

"Stop, Ichigo." He says, as though his friend is not dead before him. "It's over. You've won the battle."

There's a long silence where the beast almost appears to think about what he's saying. Those black empty eyes turn to stare at his white wrist, where the human has clasped his hand.

"It's true that he was our enemy, but there's no need to mutilate his body."

_Boy, leave it be. Run._

"You've won Ichigo. Let it go."

_Your friend is no longer there. This is a hollow and he will turn on you just as he has to me if you do not flee-_

"Didn't you hear me? You've won! You have to stop now!"

The blade starts shaking in the hollow's hand as the boy tries to hold him back. This is a dangerous thing, standing between beast and prey, and I almost wish I were able to move so that I might tell the boy to go before he, too, becomes a target.

"If you go through with this you will not be human anymore!"

_Get out, boy, while you can._

"You have to stop now Ichigo!"

He didn't run. And so the beast turns and sinks its blade into the stomach of the poor human boy. He looks shocked, like he really thought that there was some shred of humanity left inside of the monster. He is a fool despite his intentions, but even one such as he does not deserve that damned Zangetsu in his gut.

"No!" The woman screams, suddenly taking part in the scene. "Uryuu!" Before she had become a doll, watching in shock from the sidelines, but it seems the current blood has snapped her from her trance.

I can see it on her face, through her apparent horror. She blames herself for this. I don't understand it, but it troubles me. I wonder, when I am dead, will she feel badly about that, too?

It would be just like her to feel the guilt of a death she had no part in.

The hollow proceeds towards his newer, more lively, subject, not faltering for even a moment at the total fear and panic in the eyes of the human before him. He just leans his head forward and begins to charge a blazing red cero between two horns.

The boy is not me. He is a human. He will not re-grow limbs, he cannot fight back, and he did nothing to bring this upon him. And yet is he truly doomed to suffer the same fate as I?

"Ichigo don't do this!"

That Kurosaki has given into the hollow inside of him. He will destroy all he once held dear.

"Please!"

He continues to add power to the cero, despite the woman's frantic pleas. I realize, then, that if he fires, she will be caught in the blast too. He had first worried that he would harm her if the battle got out of hand and now- now he is going to be the one to kill her if this doesn't stop.

_No._

"Listen to me Ichigo!"

_He's going to destroy her. It's almost done, it's almost charged up, and in just a second he'll fire and he will _kill_ her.

_Run, woman, run, get away from here! You'll be destroyed!_

The agony that burning cero put me through was almost enough to make, a hardened warrior, scream. The pure searing hurt that cero would bring her before death is enough to make me feel something- something… emotional. I'm sorry for her. I don't want that to happen to her, I don't want that to happen to her, I want… I want to prevent it.

I don't want her to die.

I don't want her to suffer.

I want her to live. I want her to flourish like she once did.

And so… I stop it.

I thought I hadn't the strength left to even speak, but suddenly the power that I need surges through my veins like cold fire. It's enough to imagine her face in pain, but the thought of a grave marked in her name gives me enough strength to construct another lance.

I find it bitterly ironic that I will be her savoir by stopping the man she had once called her rescuer. My lance slices cleanly through his horn, causing an imbalance in the power. His own cero's power turns against him, and in a fiery blast he's caused his own destruction.

I bring about my own death much, much faster than I would have liked by doing this. But then, what was the point in prolonging it when I was doomed to die the moment he sliced through my organs. Nay, I was doomed from the very start- from the very first moment I set foot in the world of the living.

When the dust clears his mask shatters and he falls, causing another plume of sand to rise about him. Orihime watched him, eyes wide with shock, as he hits the ground. She waits for only a moment to see if he will rise again to kill her before finding he will not, and then she clamors to her feet and runs to him.

"Ichigo!"

I grow weary of hearing her shouting his name every other moment. Does love make her stupid? I do not know love, but I suppose moments ago I did know feelings, and in that time I grew stupid, too, sacrificing myself for her. So I suppose it's not the woman, but her heart that causes her annoying outburst.

_How I wish she would call out my name._

Ah. It seems I've been the fool all along.

I watch as she falls to her knees at his side, worrying over him with affections one would not expect to be devoted to a creature that had stabbed a dear friend but a moment ago. She's a strange one indeed.

She calls out to him, crying again. She seems to have a never-ending supply of tears. Maybe when I'm gone she'll waist a few on me. The thought isn't pleasant so much as it is distant. I wonder; after I am dead, will she think of me at all?

It hardly matters.

She doesn't even see me here while I am living. She's too busy fretting over the dead body of her knight to notice my staring. Her hair looks shiny in the moonlight, and her face is flushed an awkward pink color that almost suites her.

She keeps calling for him to wake up. I can't bring myself to tell her that he won't.

I turn away from her, barely able to move. Though my limbs have regenerated, it's all just for show. My internal organs will never come back. If it hadn't ended with that last strike, I would be the one lying there, dead.

I suppose I should be thankful for the momentary surge of power her image evoked in me. Perhaps this is why the boy rose again and again, even after being crushed. Suddenly, I think that maybe I can understand him, maybe-

A subtle appearance of spiritual pressure at my back causes my eyes to widen. I turn and am shocked to find that she's not healing him; he's somehow managed to put himself back together.

The hole in his chest is gone.

"High-speed regeneration."

It's the only explanation, but how-

"Ichigo?" She tentatively calls.

He sits up and coughs once, causing the woman to start and gasp. He opens his eyes and even I can't keep my complete and utter disbelief hidden. Even after all of that- everything he'd been through, he was alive?

"I'm… still alive?"

Apparently he is just as surprised as we are.

"Wait a minute. Did I… Didn't I have a giant hole in my chest?"

He almost sounds calm about it all. He must be in shock.

Orihime leans forward, smile small and kind. "Yes, but you're healed." She answers him.

"Inoue. Are you alright?"

She nods like he didn't just attempt to end her life, smile still in place, foolish as she's ever been. She'd never tell him what he'd done, and perhaps she's forgotten about that Quincy boy, because she has a look on her face like she thinks she can keep it from him.

Well, her plan will be short lived indeed.

Even as idiotic as that boy is, as he turns there is no missing the sword- _his_ sword- sticking out of the stomach of his own friend.

He staggers to his feet, brow covered in sweat. "Uryuu?"

The Quincy isn't soft, not in heart, mind, nor will. Not only can he speak, but he is not gently deceptive like the woman. He knows what must be done. "I see you… finally snapped out of it." He manages, as though it was a small tantrum the shinigami had thrown, rather than a murderous rampage.

The boy has little trouble putting the pieces together, but he must ask anyway. "Am I… Am I the one responsible for that wound?"

The Quincy has strained himself quite enough, and I am tired of being ignored. This boy's potent issues keep interrupting the battle, and I'd rather this last scene be closed with myself in the picture. "You're a hard one to kill." I say.

The affect is instantaneous. He turns and his eyes go wide as plates, white reflecting the black bits of my one remaining wing. He understands. "Ulquiorra…"

I'm dying fast, but it's time this was all over. I don't want any more interruptions. If I am going to die, I would like to go out as the rest of my kind do.

I flash forward and pull the boy's sword from the stomach of the Quincy, knowing that eventually Orihime will tend to him. He will not die, so there is no use in being careful about it. I have no time to spare, anyway.

I throw the boy his sword.

"Pick it up." I command him. "Let us finish this battle now."

I was wrong when I thought he understood. He continues to speak. "The one who stabbed Uryuu, was it me?"

I don't have time for this. Very soon I will be dead and gone, and time is very rapidly running out. "What difference does it make?" He will be fine in the end, anyway. The woman will so to it.

"Am I also the one responsible for cutting off your left arm and leg?!"

I stare at him. _Who else would it have been?_

"If that's what happened then you should cut off _my_ left arm and leg."

Orihime gasps. I can see the fear over her face, but she has no place in this, not now. This boy does not belong to her, nor her to him, and so she has no say in what is to take place in this fight. "What are you talking about?!"

"The entity you were fighting earlier was a hollowfied being with no consciousness. It was not really me!" He sets his jaw, as though preparing for the amputation in advance. "If we're going to settle this fight, then I have to be in the same condition as you, or we won't be evenly matched!"

I could argue. I could point out there has never been one single point in time where we were in the same condition, never evenly matched. One of us has always been far to the advantage or disadvantage, and now is hardly the time to make this match even. But I am swiftly running short on time, and so for this once I will have to conform. In the end he'll only be healed. He's the hero.

"I'm fine with it. If that is what you want, that is what you will get."

But he won't.

I extend my wing and it tears, loudly, like a great expanse of clothing being torn through by claw or fang. The tips that rip from the rest instantly turn to ash and begin to drift away in the gentle breeze.

0:00:000

I'm out of time.

"So this is how it ends." And I had thought that I would be able to die in the heat of combat, for once falling in line with regular hollows. It seems I was wrong. I will live, and die, as an abnormal in this world. Pitiful.

He watches, seemingly frozen to the spot. They all do, staring on and on like I've become an exhibit of terror. Not this time- I won't be forced into that roll, not again. I will die as I chose it if possible.

"Kill me, Ichigo."

He swallows.

"You don't have much time left. I won't resist you; I haven't the strength to even walk. If you don't decide to take such an opportunity now then our duel will remain unsettled forever."

He grinds his teeth, sweat dripping down his face. "I can't do it." He grinds out.

"What are you saying?"

"I don't want to. Not like this."

My eyes feel heavy.

"Is this… is this any way to win!?"

All I want is for this to be over now. There is no avoiding my fate.

"It's wrong! THIS IS NOT THE WAY I WANT TO DEFEAT YOU!"

With his small rant out of the way he breathes heavily, like he's attacked me or vice versa, just kneeling there in the sand with eyes wide and full of pity. I do not know if this pity is directed at me or himself, but frankly I do not care. It hardly matters now.

I am already beginning to change back to my original form, much faster now than I had anticipated. Humans are so, so strange, with their unchanging forms and their lack of bloodlust. Humans, who can rise again and again from being beaten, who will refuse victory simplify because it is not honorable, are strange creatures- ones I fear I have not yet grown to understand.

I turn away from him.

I know, now, that I won't get what I want. I will live my life in perfect symmetry- born from nothing in a way unlike any other, and I will be reduced to nothing in a way completely unique to myself. He could have prevented it, but he is too… _human_ for that.

"Even in the end, you just won't do as I want." I murmur.

My eyes find her.

She rises.

What does she see in me, now, staring with those big teary eyes? Her hand loose and unsure where she holds it in the air before her heart, she looks like she wants to say something and is at a loss for words. Orihime, the girl who once babbled on about yogurt to me for three hours straight, has nothing to say?

She truly is incomprehensible.

But she looks so different, standing there- something beautiful here amongst the wreckage. She's just as complicated a puzzle now as she was when she first caught my eye, but now we almost have something in common.

"And just when I was finally becoming…" how to fraise it- now she's made me lose my own words. "… a little bit _intrigued_ with the way you people behave."

She's searching for something in my eyes. I wonder, will she be able to see her own reflection in them? Perhaps she's learned from me one thing, just as I have learned one thing from her. Maybe she is looking to see if she truly exists in my world. For, as I told her, those things that are real to me are only those reflected in my eyes. I had meant it literally, but maybe she took it figuratively, maybe she searches for herself in my sights…

Or perhaps I am dying, and because of that I dare to wish for things that are not there.

Maybe the answer is simple. Maybe I am only feeling with... my heart.

For a moment I think back to asking her about her fear, I think about the answer she gave me that had struck the final nail in the coffin. How she had told me her heart would live on with her friends once she died. I don't have time to bring that whole speech back, damn it all. But I need to know. Will she keep my heart when I am gone? Will it continue to feel then?

And does she truly not fear me?

I lift my hand to her, hoping beyond hope she will understand.

"So let me ask you again, girl." I say softly. "Are you afraid of me?"

And she knows. "No. I'm not afraid." Tears begin to collect, steadily, in the corners of her eyes as she takes in a deep breath, trying to remain strong, it seems. I admire that in her. "Really, I'm not."

_Don't cry, woman, don't cry. It will be alright._

_ You're safe now._

_ You're going home._

_ And if you did not lie to me… _I reach out with my hand, further._ So am I._

She's searching my eyes, waiting.

I let out one long breath. "I understand."

She blinks once, in surprise, and then lets out a small noise as she realizes what I am saying. Her eyes turn down to my hand and her body language turns from timid to almost alarmed.

She reaches out for me, and something in me soars.

But her fingers break through mine, and quickly my arm dissolves into dust.

_This is it._

She tries again, becoming more desperate as she grasps for me in the empty air.

_Goodbye, woman._

"No."

The last thing I see is her reaching out to me, and that fine. Because I see now. Here, in the palm of my hand…

Is the heart.


	12. Chapter Twelve- Ichigo

|Author's Note|

So I've been having a really big problem lately- my word documents don't do spellcheck anymore? I've checked everything and the program says it's still running spellcheck but even if I type something like "alkjsdhflakjdhsfkahflkjahsd" is doesn't say it's wrong. So I don't know. I'm a terrible speller, so I apologize about this problem effecting my future work. :/

[Chapter Twelve- Ichigo]

Ulquiorra disappears really quickly after Inoue touches him.

I don't understand what their exchange was, but it makes me feel worse. She'd reached out for him, and as stupid as I can be when it comes to things like this, I'd say she'd done it lovingly. Leave it to Inoue to love the bad guy.

Her crying is more collected than I've ever seen, but heavier and more thickly-packed with sorrow than any I've witnessed before. She just weeps, on and on, while Uryuu and I watch not knowing what to do.

In that instant with Ulquiorra it's like the two of us didn't even exist. It was just them, speaking quietly about things no one else would understand while he faded into ash.

Surprisingly, she doesn't heal him. When she's done her crying she stands, and quietly, she makes her way to Uryuu to begin healing him.

She doesn't say another word.

When we meet back up with Rukia and the others she lingers behind, still quietly crying, and doesn't answer when spoken to. It's not that she's ignoring us, she just looks… lost.

Rukia leans in and whispers to me, asking about the hollow spiritual pressure that felt like me from earlier. I feel a stab of guilt zip through my core and glance back at Inoue again, knowing that her sorrow is my fault.

I killed that guy in cold blood, and by doing so I hurt Inoue, some how. I wonder what their relationship was. I guess that maybe it could have been like Rukia and Hanataro, where she was the nice captive and he was the jailer who couldn't help but like her, but it looked a lot more complicated- and deeper- than that.

I'll have to explain everything to Rukia later, she may know if she doesn't try to compare it to one of Yuzu's stupid romance mangas. She can be about as dense with feelings as I am sometimes.

Maybe Uryuu would know.

I look back at him, but he just looks broken-hearted. Oh yeah, he likes Inoue, huh? Maybe he'd not be the best one to ask.

I wonder what Inoue would have done if he wasn't the bad guy.

I can't held but ask, even as we prepare to step through the garganta.

"Hey…. Inoue… what was that guy to you?"

She looks up at me, dully.

"Ulquiorra." I clarify.

Her eyes widen.

"When I defeat Aizen, tell us. We'll be here for you, no matter what."

She just looks at me with those wide eyes, like she can't believe what's happened. Quietly, she says, "R-Right."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes... I, uh, I just..." She looks behind her. "I think I forgot something."

"What?"

Raising her voice for the whole group to hear, she yells, "I'll be back in just a second! I forgot something!"

"What did you forget?" Uryuu asks.

"Need help?" Chad mumbles.

"N-no, it's fine. I'll be right back!"

We only have to wait a couple of minutes, becuase she deploys one of her shields and uses it to speed back to the palace. When she comes back it doesn't look like she has anything more than before, but her eyes look a little less troubled.

"Got everything?"

She nods, wiping blood off of her face; she hadn't noticed it earlier. "Y-yeah." She nervously looks behind her, as if to check to see if she's being followed.

I wonder what's going to happen to her when we've finished.

I wonder what will become of all of us.


	13. Part II -Chapter Thirteen- Rukia

|Part Two- After The War|

{Chapter Thirteen- Rukia}

Two-hundred and thirteen years ago there was a war between a sect of ex-shinigami and the second division. The second division collected intel on the location of the rogues, and then they gave that information to the eleventh squad. The eleventh squad was sent in to 'take care of them.' They put up a very impressive fight, and the small conflict lasted a week and two days before the ex-shinigami were completely wiped out.

Afterwards there was a party that lasted for three days and three nights. The fifth squad caught and roasted a wild boar. Matsumoto drank the captain of the eighth division under the table and managed to convince Captain of Third- that snake, Ichimaru- to have a drink with her. Shhuhie and Izuru both danced on the center table and Nanao laughed so hard she burped. It was a party talked about for years to come.

_That_ is how war should be. You win and you throw a party so wild and perfect that you want to have war every other week- were it not for the hang over that came once all was over with.

That's not how it is.

The Winter War devastated Soul Society. The weeks after were not spent with celebration, but with the quiet clean up and reconstruction of a land that would never be the same. We spent the time digging graves, trying to ring up the body count, while we dealt with so many injuries we couldn't even see the people who needed mental attention. So those who weren't dying or missing limbs suffered in silence out on the dying grass, heads in their palms as they searched for an answer to every question created from the conflict.

I am not an exception to this.

There are many who are missing the shoulder they would usually have cried on- those people are dead now. I feel for them very, very much, because in this very moment Ichigo is lying still in my brother's manor.

"Hey, idiot." I tell him. "We're all having a big party, and you're missing out on it." I don't know why I'm lying to his still form, but I can't seem to stop. "Yeah. Madarame balanced, um, three bottles of sake on his head while he danced. Matsumoto is slammed, but that's usual, ha-ha. You… um, you're missing out on a lot of fun, you big dummy. So… so you'd better wake up." I lean over his body, and without knowing why I push my hand through his thick hair, bottom lip clenched between my teeth.

"Stupid." I say, hand fisting in his hair. "Stupid, stupid fool."

He doesn't stir. He just breathes slowly, in and out, in and out, again and again. It feels like he'll never wake up.

"Hey," I whisper, swallowing. "Wake up, dummy. You're going to miss the party."

But there is no big happy party, and he's not waking up. Urahara's explained it all to me. Once Ichigo does wake up he won't be able to come to any party we throw him. He won't be able to see the sake here, or the big cake Yumichika will make. He won't be able to see Yachiru jumping around from head to head, dropping hats on those she passes by. He won't see the chairs or the banner, he won't hear the music of smell the roast. He won't be able to experience any of it. He won't _see_ any of it.

He won't see me.

"I'm sorry." I find myself whispering. I'm bowed over his body, swallowing and swallowing past the lump in my throat as I grasp his hand with the one not in his hair. I don't want to cry. "I'm so, so sorry Ichigo." Once the words start, I can't stop. "This is all my fault… If I, if I hadn't interfered… If I hadn't been week, then this, this could have been avoided and I-"

"Stop."

For a moment my eyes went wide, and I almost thought that Ichigo had spoken. But the moment passed within a second, and I turned to find my brother standing at my side.

"B-Brother." I took one hand from Ichigo's hair and unlaced our fingers. Embarrassed, I sit up straight, face flushed. "I-"

"You are not week." My brother says. "You are a Kuchiki. We are a proud people, Rukia. I would not adopt a week woman into this household and give her my name, promise or no promise. You are strong, and _that_ is why he was able to go as far as he did. Remember that."

Those words do so much more for me than any other half-speeches of comfort from the rest of my friends. "Thank you, Brother…"

He nods once, and just like that, he goes out the way he came.

I'm left alone with a sleeping Ichigo again, but now I'm not on the verge of crying anymore. I put my hand to his hair again, stroking the strands away from his face. It's shortened a little bit from the long state it was in, and I like it better this way. When it was long- really, really long- I liked it, but it wasn't him so much as his short hair.

But this medium, between short and long, I like it. It's kind of dorky, like him, even if not very many people really know it. He acts tough and like some sort of bad boy, but in reality he's just a big nerd.

I wish that I could stay with him longer. I want to see him come out of his shell, shed his ego as he grows older so that more people can see the Ichigo I see. Or maybe I don't want that- maybe I want to keep that side of him all to myself. I know its selfish, but when you have a bond wish someone, it can be hard to share it.

It's the little unseen things that make a bond so special, the things that you don't have to share with anyone else. What makes my brother's bond with myself so special is the kindness he shows to me, and me alone. The bond between Renji and I is the kindness he shows to me. The bond between Momo and I is the anger she shares with me in secret- telling me the things she hates and wants to change, things like that she would never dare say to anyone else.

I don't want to share those things with anyone else.

The same is to be said about Ichigo.

Soon I will have to let him go. I'll have to let someone else find his dorky side, watch someone take my place and slowly fill in the gaps until I'm gone from his memory entirely. I'll have to let him move on, and then I'll have to move on to.

We may have won the war, but it certainly doesn't feel like it.


	14. Chapter Fourteen- Orihime

|Author's Note|

So sorry about the mix up last chapter- thank you to everyone for pointing it out. I've fixed it now, so if you go back the correct material should be there. Thanks!

{Chapter Fourteen- Orihime}

I have a secret.

No one can know- _no_ _one_. I'm afraid to tell even my brother, because he'll know, and maybe he's up in Soul Society, and maybe someone else will hear and tell Kurosaki-Kun when he wakes up.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

When Tatsuki and I were in Thunder Scout Girls, we would go to camp in the summer, and at those camps we would go on hikes and sing. One song has always stuck with me, and though I used to find it cute and mischievous, in context it's darker than I would like to admit.

"I've got something in my pocket that belongs beyond camp walls, if the others knew they'd say put it back! But for me it's a close call. It's thin and grey and sandy and it all fits all in one hand, I want to tell my fellow scouts but I'm pretty sure it's banned!"

It fits all too well. Because _I_ have something in _my_ pocket that definitely should not be there, and it is grey and it is sandy and it _is_ sort of thin. It all fits in one hand and I'll hide it from the others as long as I possibly can.

I'm in trouble now.

Tatsuki knows something happened, and she knows we aren't telling her the whole story. I think she knows more than she's telling us, same as we are to her, but I don't want to push the matter because then I'll spill the beans. Though, really, I don't see why she shouldn't know.

Ichigo woke up two days ago- he's the one who made up the rule. I think we all kind of want to break it, but since Rukia is gone, there's no one left to convince him to drop the rule easily.

Tatsuki's over at my house, and I'm not sure where to hide things. I know it's not so dignified, but I moved my secret into a zip-lock bag and put it in my underwear drawer. I shoved my dress under the bed, put the boots in the way, way back of the closet, and took all the bloodied bandages and hide them under tissues in the bathroom trash.

It looks like it never happened.

But, of course, I can't do much to hide the physical evidence on my body. Tatsuki's fingers brush over a cut on the back of my skull as she's braiding it- tell no one she secretly has a girly side- and she says nothing, but frowns. She finds nicks and bruises and scars all over the place through are usual interaction. I make sure to change into my jammies in the bathroom so that she doesn't see the massive black and purple mark over my back, but when I come out with my hair back in a pony tail she still frowns and quietly says, "You singed your eyebrows. How did that happen?"

I know how. When Ichigo was taken over by his hollow and fired a cero at us, the blast singed my hair. But I just put up a silly smile and feel the areas over my eyes, laughing. "Silly me! I guess I got carried away when I was cooking!"

I wish I was a better liar.

When it gets late and I'm sleepy I can't help but start to open up to her questions. I've never been good at hiding my feelings, especially from her.

"Where were you?" She asks quietly, the both of us curled up beneath the covers of my bed. "Where did you go?"

"I was taken."

"Kidnapped?"

I nod.

"Was it… the people in black? Like Ichigo?"

"So you know about that?"

"Yeah."

"It wasn't them. It was the others. The ones in white."

"Oh."

"Can we go to sleep, Tatsuki? I'm… I'm very tired."

"Yeah…"

For a second we are quiet, and I almost think she's going to let it drop, but it's not long before she can't help herself. She turns over in bed, so that she faces me, and then lets out a quiet cough.

I turn to her.

"Where did they take you?"

"To their palace."

"A palace?"

"Yes. Los Noches, in Hueco Mundo. It's where hollows go."

"What are hollows? The guys Ichigo fights? The ones with the masks?"

"Yes."

"Why did they take you?"

"I… I'm not sure."

"What did they do to you, Hime? They didn't…" her eyes turned to the cut on my collarbone. "They didn't do this to you, did they?"

"No." I frown and begin to play with the singled tips of my hair. "They didn't. I was… I was put in a tower. Like a princess. And they assigned me a guard. He took care of me, so nothing… nothing bad was supposed to happen to me."

"Supposed to?"

"Two girls got in, but it wasn't his fault. He was sent out to fight Ichigo and they slipped in while he was away."

"What did he do when he came back? And I don't like that it was a guy…"

"I was gone when he came back. Grimmjow took me to-"

"Grimmjow?"

"He's one of the espada." _Or was. Is he still alive?_

"Espada?"

"The strongest Arancar."

"What are arancar?"

"Hollows that look like people."

"Oh. Why'd he take you?"

"To heal Ichigo."

"So he was a good guy?"

"No, uh, he wanted to fight Kurosaki-kun at full strength so-"

"Wait, why was Ichigo hurt?"

"Ulquiorra had to fight him so-"

"Ulquiorra?"

"My guard."

"Oh." She blinked. "Go on."

I sighed. "Should I… Should I just start from the beginning?"

"I think maybe that would be best."

And so I do. It feels so good to have her ask, to finally tell someone who isn't too close to the story that they stop me when I speak. I start with the letter I left behind for Rangiku and Toshiro, and I go to the good-bye to Ichigo. I tell her about how I re-made Grimmjow's arm from nothing, about those nights and days locked in a cell with only Ulquiorra for company. I tell her about Melony and Loly and the way the moon looked, the way the room smelled, the way the food tasted. I tell her everything. I progress through my days in prison and to the fighting when Ichigo and the others arrive. I tell her everything, right up to the part where Ulquiorra breaks through the dome and to the bit where Ichigo rises from the dead. And then I stop.

_This is where things get bad._

"Well?" She asks, eyes wide. "What happened then?"

I can see it playing out in my mind. Ichigo grabbing Ulquiorra's face and ramming him into the ground, the ferocity at which he roared and blasted ceros.

Suddenly I sit up in bed, stomach churning. Behind my eyelids I can see Hollow Ichigo tearing Ulquiorra's arm right off of his body, tossing the bleeding limb at it's owner. I can see the blood flying through the air, the gaping bloody stump at Ulquiorra's shoulder, the bone prodding through the ruined skin and mucle-

I lurch out of bed, hand to my mouth as I scramble for the bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet before I'm sick all over, throwing up all of my cereal and hot sauce into the bowl while I fight back tears.

"Orihime!?" Tatsuki leaps out of bed and runs to my side, instantly gathering all of my hair back at the base of my neck so that it's out of the way. She rubs soothing circles over my back as I heave into the toilet over and over, until there's nothing left to throw up and I'm just gagging on air.

"Are you okay?" She whispers, pushing my bangs back again as I take a tissue from the near-by counter to wipe my mouth. "I told you cereal with marshmallows in it isn't a good idea-"

"I'm okay."

"Are you sure? Do you want me to get you anything?"

"Could you…. Could you get me some water?"

She nods, and then she's gone.

While she's away I shakily stand and then rinse my mouth out, wash my face, and begin to brush my teeth. By the time Tatsuki comes back with a glass in hand and waits for me to finish brushing my teeth before she guides me back to bed.

I sip at the water quietly for a couple of minutes, stomach settled.

"Do you want to just go to sleep?" Tatsuki whispers.

I shake my head. "No, it's… it's okay. I just…" I sigh. "Kurosaki-kun turned into a hollow."

"What!?"

I nod once. "It was terrifying. He… he ripped Ulquiorra apart, really. And even when he'd won he didn't stop, he wanted to… he wanted to mutilate the corpse. But then Uryuu stepped in and tried to stop him, and so… so Kurosaki-kun stabbed him."

Tatsuki gasped.

"He… he tried to _kill_ us Tatsuki."

"How did you stop him!?"

"We didn't."

"… What?"

I close my eyes and turn away from her. "It was Ulquiorra. He saved us before he died."

She's silent for a beat. Eventually, though, she speaks again, voice sort of dry. "He died?"

I nod. "Ichigo destroyed his insides, so he couldn't regenerate."

"You didn't heal him?"

I hide my face.

"Hime?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"… Oh. Well, um, he _was_ a bad guy, Hime, it's okay. It's… It's probably better this way, right?"

I shrug a shoulder. _Is it really?_

"It's going to be okay, Orihime. You'll see."

I don't think she's right, but I nod anyway.

"After all, you won the war, right? Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"I guess."

Maybe we _did_ win the war. But at what cost?


	15. Chapter Fifteen- Uryuu

[Chapter fifteen- Uryuu]

I know I have no right to complain, but it's hard being one of four in a group that's got two depressed members. Not to mention the other half of the recovered people is practically mute most of the time.

Ichigo we all expected to be like this. He's just so frustrated with his inability to help, and each day that drags by makes it worse. In the beginning he'd been hopeful, and upon arriving and leaving school each day would ask us, "Is she here?"

He still does, all cool like he doesn't give a damn, but with each "no" we give him he deflates a little bit more. The shadows under his eyes have grown over the weeks, and as of late it looks like he hardly sleeps at all.

Orihime's depression would have been unexpected, had I not witnessed her encounter with the Espada in his final moments. There seemed to be an understanding between the two of them, something none of us could really grasp. She'd cried for him, and while that was to be expected, I had not thought he would look so sad to go, and I certainly didn't think she'd continue to morn the death of her captor so long after his demise.

But there had been something between the two of them. Any hopes I once had of her loving me back have been shattered, because not only did she once love Kurosaki, but she also came to love a man who hurt her. If I had any chance at all it would have already happened, because a strong woman like her can give her heart easily.

It doesn't bother me so much. I just wish there was something I could do for her to make her look happy again. I almost want to tell her she doesn't have to put up her fake smiles around me anymore, but I don't see the point in it. Fake it til' you make it, as the saying goes.

Ichigo doesn't even try to pretend. He's moody and irritable all the time, and just as much of a punk as he had been back before Rukia came. The fact that people whisper about it doesn't help at all- since Rukia's name and disappearance is often mixed in with the quiet rumors, it make him worse off. He's almost jumpy, listening to them. I don't know what would happen if he heard the popular little rumor that he's got something to do with her falling off the face of the earth. He'd probably hound everyone for the original source of the little story before beating the crap out of them. Or maybe he's just sulk. It's hard to predict when he's like... this.

He alternates between looking sad, frustrated, guilty, and far-off. He drifts into daydreams during class often enough that the teacher's even begun to notice, and is generally despondent. He only ever finishes half his bento. He does his homework silently, almost bored, and pretends not to tense up when we all shoot out of our seats to take care of hollows.

Inoue barely shields herself when we do go to fight. She's always got this far-off look in her eye, even when she's healing, like she's in some other universe, in another battle.

This general unhappiness in the both of them becomes apparent enough for the teacher to pull myself, Chad, and Tatsuki from the class for an interrogation.

"What's wrong with them?" She asks, hands on her hips.

Chad grunts.

Tatsuki shrugs.

I say, "We don't know."

"Oh, oh no you don't! You three are way too casual about this. Teen depression is nothing to brush off. Is it because Kuchiki transferred?"

"Yes."

"Hm."

"Of course."

She eyes us. "That was a little quick, wasn't it?"

We all swallow, attempting to act like we're not beginning to sweat. I want to know who let Arasarwa in on the secret- it was most likely Inoue- and I also want to know why Chad looks like he'd rather be getting his teeth pulled than face down this little teacher. Am I really the only one here who knows how to keep his cool?

"We all miss Rukia." I say, stepping forward. I make a split decision to exaggerate a little bit. "We all know that Kurosaki was desperately in love with her-" three very serious nods, "And Inoue gets sad if someone else is sad." Another three nods, "Not to mention she just about cries when someone leaves class early, never mind moving."

"Hn."

"Yeah, that's true."

The teacher thinks about it. "Hm. Fine, fine, you guys are right. But I'm keeping an eye on them. It seems like something happened to Inoue when she was gone visiting her relatives, and with how deeply in love Kurosaki was with Kuchiki his heartbreak may be more serious than it looks."

We all three breathe sighs of relief.

"Okay kids, get back to class."

It's sort of sad that we have to lie. I think that eats Ichigo up, too. He doesn't want to be painted as a love-sick teen; he was the hero, a savior of worlds. We're just kids and we should be lying about where we got hickies or what we were doing out after one in the morning. We shouldn't be covering up a _war_. We watched people die, we killed, we fell under blades.

Again, it feels as though we haven't even won. Nothing's right, nothing's as it should be. True victors of war should be celebrating, not slowly drowning in their own misery.

Orihime stutters in her presentation for class half way through, and can't get the word "four" past her lips trying to ask her partner to go to that specific slide. Ichigo scoffs in bitterness during some otaku's weapon analysis project.

"S-sorry!" Orihime blushes red. "That, um, that number is sort of sad looking to me, don't you think?"

"Ha. Taro, you _could_ cut through bone with that sword with the right amount of force." Ichigo crosses his arms.

"I mean, um, it's just kind of…" She stands up straight. "Come with me, woman." She slackens out. "Right? Serious, but sad."

They stare.

"Come on." Ichigo throws his head back, eyes practically rolling out of his head. "Wakazabi have longer reach than you think. Right, Rukia?"

They stare.

"Ha… ha. Sorry. I forgot…." Orihime swallows.

"Oh." Ichigo looks away from her empty desk. "Whatever. I forgot."

Yeah. War's wrecked us more than the losers.


	16. Chapter Sixteen- Ichigo

[Chapter Sixteen- Ichigo]

You know that feeling when you wake up and there's this film in your eyes? You wipe at your face and blink a bunch trying to get that crap out, but no even as you're doing that you're trying to adjust to this new weird blurry world around you.

That's what this is like. I can't get the film from my eyes. I keep blinking, rubbing my eyes, washing my face over and over again but I still can't see. I've gone blind.

The moment she disappeared I knew it was over. I knew she wouldn't be coming back. That's not how the shinigami roll- you're either in their crowd and as such they have to be with their game or you're not and they're out of your hair completely.

Damn it.

Rukia just had to go and make matters worse with her damn "I can still see you even if you can't see me" comment. Like, what the hell Rukia? Maybe she thought she was doing me a favor, giving me hope or something, but all I heard was that maybe she'd hang around with me even if I couldn't see it. But from the reports of all my clear-eyed friends, that is not the case.

Karin caught on just a little while after I did.

"She's never coming back, is she?"

You know it's bad when Karin mentions something emotional. Unless it involves kicking ass or something like that, she usually doesn't comment. She likes to leave the emotional stuff to Yuzu.

I didn't really reply to Karin, because I still have hope. I just shrugged before heading up to my room.

I'm not really sure if I can call it my room anymore. It doesn't feel right without an annoying little shinigami midget girl in the closet all the time, stealing my sister's clothes and manga, cheating off of my homework while she taps away on that dumb little phone.

It doesn't even smell like her in here anymore. It smells like dust, we were gone for so long. Dust and my sweat, which isn't a good thing. I know it's stupid to miss her as an air-freshener, but I do. Her smell made the place feel like home.

She'd kick my ass if she knew how much I miss it all, how pathetically I mope around. I took her fucking used sheets and pillow from the closet and put them on my bed so that I could sleep with her faint scent one last time. I took all her crumbled drawings out of the trashcan and smoothed them out for safe keeping. I haven't moved her glass of water from where it sits slowly evaporating on the side of my desk, little printed sunflower on the side looking duller and duller each day.

Gym is the only class that I can really apply myself to anymore- I've become _that guy_. Everything else I just do to get out of the way, it's too much of a hassle to care and too much of a bother to let it slide, but gym? All this pent up aggression can't just wait for some thugs to attack me or a bystander- and so I run it off. I do pushups until I think I'm going to be sick if I can and push myself as hard as I can in each activity. Keigo, that idiot, thinks I'm showing off, but the truth is that I'll do anything to keep from losing my mind. So far, this is one of the only things that helps.

God damn it.

I got called down to the principal's and he gave me "a stern talking to" about my lack of response in class now a day. In this world I'm just a dumb punk kid with funky hair, and they can all talk down to me because of it. It wouldn't sting so much if I could still be myself in another world, but that's dead and gone for good. I'm no hero. I'm just some casualty of the winter war.

_Just like that espada bastard you tore limb from limb._ Some nasty voice in my mind sneers. It's a voice I used to associate with my hollow. _Everyone will forget you in time, no matter how great you were or how hard you fought._

I tell myself to shut up and move on.

Things have to change soon. I've stopped asking if Rukia's around because by now I've faced facts. She's not going to drop by and visit. She's not coming back to finish the school year with me- tomorrow I will graduate, and then I will be in my final year of high school, and she will not come with me. Fact, fact, fact.

Something's got to give. Something's _got_ to give.


	17. Chapter Seventeen- Orihime

-Part III-

{Chapter Seventeen- Orihime}

Sometimes I understand Atlas, from the Greek legends. When I first heard the story of the man who had to cary the world on his shoulders- or rather the sky- I'd thought that after a single day I would have caved in. Still, he stood standing on and on. I thought, back then, the weight would be too much for anyone to bear, but now I know better. I know a lot more than I used to, especially when it comes to stories like those. After all, I was Helen of Troy, wasn't I?

Secrets weigh much heavier than the sky, which is made of blue and clouds and sunshine. Secrets and deep, dark, dirty and cold. Secrets will crush you much, much faster than the sky will.

It's been over a year since the winter war, and I'm starting to crack under the weight of my own secrets- all of them centered around a certain dead espada. I've told Tatsuki partial secrets, and that's loosened the burden ever-so-slightly, but it's not enough, especially when you keep _an entire person_ as a secret.

Ulquiorra is my secret.

At first I'd pushed it off as rebound, from losing Ichigo so firmly, and then when time went on and I still woke from dreams of him drenched in sweat I turned to Stolkholm Syndrom as a possible answer. But I've searched the symptoms and the happenings, and I only have one thing as described in those reports; I understood his reasonings. That, though, was not enough to make me cary him so, because I understood why everyone did what they did.

If my friends knew about this they'd probably think I'm sick. But in this world there has only been one person I've spoken with that I did not fear would judge me. I knew he would listen the entire time I spoke and take everything I said seriously. He would think about it, compare notes, and never brush me off. Even Tatsuki, without meaning to, has. But never Ulquiorra.

I think this started with his eyes. They always look so sad, maybe my heart reached out for him to make those eyes light up with happiness. Or maybe it was the way he spoke, so quietly, intent on making sure I listened- making sure I cared. Maybe it was the anger he inspired in me; enough to make me hit him.

It's all bad. Very, very bad.

But I think I care- too much- for a dead man in an army that sided against good.

There's more. Ulquiorra's not my only secret, but he's connected to the others. No one knows _these_ secrets. Tatsuki is partial to everything I spoke of before this moment, but the thing I'm hiding that follow? She hasn't got a clue.

No body knows about the jar of ashes at the top of my closet. No body knows about the men's clothes I've pulled up out of storage. No body knows about what I want to do.

This is a very, very bad thing that I want to do. A very, very bad thing.

But I'm cracking under the weight of these secrets. It's been too long since I've talked to anyone, and the dreams are getting worse, and I can't force myself to eat or move any more because it really is my fault that he's dead. And with Aizen gone, he really doesn't have to be a bad guy anymore, right?

There is one more secret I have not told anyone.

When the war ended I found the skeliton of a mouse in the trap of my closet upon turning home. Without thinking about it, I put my sheilds out, completely on autopilot.

Ulquiorra's prediction was right. I can alter space, time, and matter- not heal. Because soon enough that mouse was alive again. So I started thinking about it, and after a lot of thought I've come to a couple of conclusions.

1. I can bring the dead back to life

2. I can create something from just about nothing as long as it once existed

3. I think I can turn Ulquiorra human

I know everything is a long shot, and I'm honestly very, very stupid to try, but I've learned that in this world nothing is impossible. I mean, Ichigo turned into a weird hollow lizard and back, and Yorouichi turns into a cat and back, and for some reason any time there is a problem in our way one of us suddenly gains a new power.

The universe is a strange place.

A place Ulquiorra deserves to belong in.

So, today- Sunday, two weeks before my last year of school begins, I am going to do something crazy. Something that I should not do, but am going to do, just as soon as I've finished off my rice and jelly.

After I clean up my lunch mess I make my way to the bedroom and spread out a long white towel on the ground. I get the jar of ashes from the closet, and the clothes from where they've been sitting in the living room untouched for a month. With the clothes on the bed behind me, and the ashed poured out on the towel, I begin.

With my shield up, the ash starts to swirl around, collecting bit-by-bit.


	18. Chapter Eighteen- Ichigo

|Author's Note|

Okay, so as to the time line, we're just going to pretend that Orihime's not in with the Fullbrings- same wish Chad. I'm going to make it a solo Ichigo thing so that poor Chad and Hime aren't dragged down into all of that stuff… But I've got plans in store for everyone, so don't worry, just roll with it. Anyway, on this chapter: I love Rangiku to death and am just using her as a feeling-instigator, I think. Additionally, I headcannon Isane as a lesbian, so there.

{Chapter Eighteen- Rukia}

Day by day my worries started to wear down, and in their place new ones were built up. I stopped thinking, "What if he moves on?" and started thinking, "What if he doesn't?"

He must think I've abandoned him. God, he must hate me- he must never want to see me again. It's really not my fault; I have work to do here. But maybe I should push to be sent to the human world a little harder, ask for my vacations all wrapped up into one early. There's just so much to be done, building Soul Society back up from the ashes of the war, that I can't bring myself to do it. He has his life, and I have mine. We have to live them.

To relax, Momo started the tradition of "girl's night out." I really do enjoy it, usually, but it's one of those nights were everything's gone wrong. What was supposed to be a cute movie night turned sour when the villain had a grin too close to one we all knew once. The busty lieutenant had heaved herself up and broke out the sake, insisting we finish the movie. By the end of it she was slammed, Momo was tipsy, and Nanao was slumped over passed out. Isane was the only sober one, but she looked about ready to make a grab for the sake.

I don't know why I ever thought this would be a good idea. My captain mentioned I was soon going to be promoted to lieutenant, and so I really should have been finishing up paperwork or something, not listening to Matsumoto laugh to hide her despair.

"Men." She scoffed. "Who needs 'em?"

Momo giggled and raised her glass. "Here here!"

Lisa just cracked an uneasy smile.

I sighed.

"In tha' end they're just- just, um- uh… what was I saying?"

"Men!" Momo cheered.

"Men." Rangiku nodded, gravely. "Momo, baby, my capins' the only good one out there- I swear, you won the- the lottery with him or something. Because he doesn't just up and disappear, eh?"

"Yeah! Lil Shiro!"

I felt sick.

"A-and he won't go where you can't go. He's gonna be here… here for a long time so you don't have to miss him. Miss him or, um, or-" She suddenly turned to me, face-planting into my lap. Despite my wide blush she just kept talking. "This is what happens." She growled, mood suddenly deteriorating. "We lived in two different world and we both paid for it."

I flinched. "M-Mats-"

"Nope! No, don't bother!" She turned to face me, head in my lap. Lazily she licked her lips and then drawled, "Where- whereeeee's Ichi?"

I swallowed.

"Where's yer' Ichigo, Kuchiki? He- heeeee is- he is gone, too, eh?"

"You're drunk."

"What? No way!" She sat up, squinting at the bottles at her feet. "I've only had four!"

"Four entire bottles of sake, you should be dead."

"Nothin' the liver can't handle." She slapped her side, causing her breasts to jiggle. Interested, Rangiku plucked at the material of her top, causing them to bounce dangerously close to falling out of her clothes.

Momo started clapping as Isane turned an interesting shade of purple.

I just sighed and leaned back on my hands, eyeing a bottle that hadn't been opened. I really, really wanted to break into it just about then.

But then, Ichigo wouldn't, would he?

Sighing again, I turned to Rangiku and listened as she began to tell us about the time she and Ichimaru had wrestled a wild boar for dinner as children. She talked about how he'd had such an interesting light in his eyes back then. So close to innocence, but so far.

I wonder if that's how people see Ichigo now.

I don't wonder for long. With all that he's seen, it's not hard to catch the ghosts in his eyes. I must look doubly as haunted, then, since I'm the one who put them there.

Funny how girl's night works, huh?


	19. Chapter Nineteen- Ulquiorra

|Author's Note|

And now, finally, the chapter you have all been waiting for. Thank you so much to everyone for keeping up with this story; especially those who favorited and reviewed! Your comments really keep me going. :) Without further ado, chapter nineteen.

[Chapter Nineteen- Ulquiorra]

In death, I came to understand much about the life I'd had. All along, there had been a heart in the palm of my hand. I just had not realized. But in the finality of my life it became very clear.

I envy because of the heart.

I am gluttonous because of the heart.

I covet because of the heart.

I am prideful because of the heart.

I am slothful because of the heart.

I rage because of the heart.

Looking at her in my mind's eye, I feel something akin to jealousy. I want to own her, I want her to own me, I want her here and I want her happy. I want her.

_Because__ of the heart,_ I think, staring at her image, _I lust for everything about you._

Several things that had once confused me make sense, now, because of this new-found information. However, these are all insignificant in the face of one profound question:

How am I thinking?

I am dead, am I not? It was only a moment ago that I was turning to ash, watching the woman reach out to me before all was gone.

What's happening?

When I open my eyes I see an almost familiar gold light around me. Everything else is unfamiliar, from the floor below me to the ceiling I face. I blink a few more times, feeling oddly lethargic. How am I alive?

The answer comes a moment later as I am finally able to focus my sights on her face. She's a bright shade of red, and her eyes are pressed tightly closed as she holds her hands out. There's sweat trailing down from her hairline and dripping from her chin, her fingers tremble slightly as she holds them out above the shield.

My body feels heavy, as though my veins have been filled with lead. But I am not in considerable pain, though my limbs are encompassed in a dull ache that seems to strum from my finger tips to my head.

"Where-" My voice cracks, throat horse from disuse. I clear it as her eyes fly open, big and bright in the dim of this room we are in. "Where have you taken me, woman?"

She brings both hands to her mouth as she stares at my face, tears beginning to collect in her eyes. The golden barrier easily cracks and disappears as I lift a heavy hand to press against it. The shield is warm when I touch it, and the air stays a comfortable temperature even as it drops. I immediately conclude that we cannot be in Hueco Mundo. The air here is too humid, too warm- it is not dry and cold like the air circulating Los Noches.

"Y-You're alive." Orihime stutters, voice choked with emotion. "I- I thought-"

"Why am I not dead?"

She loudly sniffs and then pushes her hair out of her face. "I healed you."

Though it's hard to move, I manage to shakily push myself up into a sitting position. I immediately recognize the fact that I am naked, but that does not matter in this moment. "Where have you brought me, woman?"

"Th-this is my home." She looks away from me, face flushed pink once more. "U-um, in the world of the living."

"Aizen-sama allowed this?"

She licks her lips. "Aizen lost. H-He's in prison."

"Hm. I see." So he had fallen? It is not too much of a surprise. He was arrogant, and though he was powerful he was not powerful enough to make up for that. "I suppose the other two shinigami are with him?"

"Oh… no. They're dead…"

"And the espada?"

"I-I'm not sure. I think most of them are dead. Hallibell may be alive."

I take in a strained breath. For some reason, breathing is a difficult task now. Was it always so hard to move before, or am I not fully recovered? Even my eyelids feel heavy. "Why?"

"Why?"

"Why have you recalled me from the dead?"

She looked down at her lap, biting at her bottom lip. "Oh. That."

"Yes, that. If you were not ordered to I do not see why you would see fit to waste your powers on the enemy. You are once again sided with your friends, are you not?"

"Yes. I'm… I'm with them. I always have been. But, Ulquiorra, aren't you- aren't you glad that you're alive again?"

I flex my fingers in front of my face. I feel very week. Very, very week. "I am not certain."

She sighs. "I'm sorry. It's just, when you died, you looked so sad. And you really didn't do anything wrong-"

"I killed your friend."

"You were acting on orders!"

"Is the quincy still missing the hand I took from him?"

"Don't turn this around!"

"Then answer me clearly." I demand. "Why am I here?"

She looks down again. I do not understand why when I ask her these things she cannot meet my eye. This would usually be a sign she is lying, but the woman is not the type to deceive me, and her words ring with truth. "I… I didn't think it was fair. You… um, you deserve to live. That's all."

And somehow, I suppose I understand. It's one of her odd human things- one of her 'heart' things, thinking that one such as I deserves to live. She really is odd, that woman. "I see."

"A-anway!" Her voice climbs a few octaves as she goes red again, still looking away from me. She reached back to a bed covered in pillows and various fake animals, and then plucks a neat stack of clothing from its surface. "These are for you!"

I accept them, the heavy feeling in my limbs causing me to move slowly. I feel the material in my fingers and tilt my head as I find them oddly soft. Not crips, but… fluffy.

"What is the meaning of this?"

"W-well you, uh, you're naked!" Her voice is very high on the last word. "A-and so you, uh, you better suite up soldier, haha! Yep, no nudity here!" She begins to laugh nervously again, looking away from me with a blush that is beginning to spread to the tops of her breasts.

Interesting.

"You humans are so odd."

She's silent, then. "Um, about that… you can't really say that anymore."

"What?"

She hops up, still looking away and frantically points at another door. "I can't talk to you when you're not dressed! Go in there and p-put some clothes on please!"

"Hm."

It is amusing to see her so animated again. In Los Noches those moments of hers were few and far between, so seeing her flushed and healthy as she babbles on about things is a change for the better.

Her bathroom- the room she had directed me towards- smells like her; honey and vanilla with a tinge of ginger. The mirror is framed by sticky-noted filled with reminders and what look to be lyrics. On the counter she has amassed an army of various creams and lotions, some bottles of soap and then odd bits and bobs she must have used on her hair. The rug on the floor is green, the walls are a light green, and the tile is all white. It's very lively, for a bathroom, but I suppose that's to be expected of her.

The woman must have foreseen that I would not be familiar with the clothes she had handed me, because she'd left a note on top saying that 'tags' go in the back, and a short description of what order the garments were to be put on. The small grey article is referred to as underwear, and it is to go on first. From there, one may put on the T-Shirt or the Pajama Pants, both of which mirror the regular pants and shirts of a uniform. They look exceedingly foolish, though, more like something one would wear underneath a uniform where they easily affected by the cold than anything else.

The top piece, the T-Shirt, is white and the Pajama Pants are a dark navy and white, a pattern referred to as plaid.

I assume these are all she has to provide for me, and so I understand I must wear them without complaint. It was thoughtful of her to have anything prepared in the first place, and so they will have to do. At least they have pockets, which I find and promptly shove my hands into.

When I open the door and emerge back into the room I had originally been in, I find her waiting on her bed, nervously meshing her fingers together. She's cleaned the floor up, moving the towel I had been laying on moments before out of sight. I notice that her hairpins are in her hands.

"You are nervous." I note.

She looks up at me, startled. "Oh- oh." She blinks a couple of times, taking a moment to study me in these new clothes. "You look good." She shyly whispers.

"I look like a fool."

"No, really, you look nice."

"I resemble the human trash that beg for change on your roadsides."

"A homeless person?" She laughs. "No, you don't understand, um, those are pajamas. It's getting close to night. You sleep in pajamas, that's why they look so casual."

"Ah. I see."

"Like mine." She says, and stands up on the bed so that she towers above me. She is wearing matching top and bottoms, the former long sleeved and the later touching her ankles. They're yellow with cartoon ducks printed on them, but look softer than my own. "I wouldn't wear this out in public."

"Odd. That is much more concealing than the uniform you wear out."

"Well _that's_ because I get chilly when I'm sleeping."

"Hm."

"In fact-"

_Knock, knock, knock!_

I turn to the source of the noise just as she does. It is beyond her room, but close enough to be of concern. "There is someone about, woman."

"Ah! I'll get it!" She launches herself off of her bed, almost falling before she regains her balance and opens a door at the end of the room. She runs out, calling, "Coming!" as she heads off.

Curious, I follow her out of what must be her bedroom and into a larger room with a couch and table. She has another door open, which leads outside. She's speaking with a young woman with long black hair.

"And I swear I looked everywhere but I just can't find Guts." The stranger says worriedly. "She usually doesn't wander off like this, and I was just wondering if you've seen her?"

Orihime shakes her head, seemingly worried. "I'm sorry, I haven't-"

"Who is this?" I come to stand behind Orihime, staring at the woman before her with narrowed eyes. It is not custom for visitors so late in the living world, so why is she here?

The intruder's eyes go wide. "O-Orihime-San, I didn't realize you had a boyfriend!"

Orihime turns that same shade of red from earlier. She prompty rushes out, "Hope you find your cat! Haha talk to you tomorrow Ushiro bye-bye!" And then hurriedly closed the door, pressing her back against it as she turns to stare at me.

I stare back.

"I thought I told you I'd get it." She hisses.

"Your message was unclear."

She wipes a hand over her face, groaning. "I didn't want Ushiro to get the wrong idea…"

"And what idea is that?"

"You- you heard her. She said… she said she thought you were my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?"

"It's… it's like the, um, trail version of a husband."

"Ah. Significant other, spouse, partner, sexual counterpart-"

"Yes! Yes that!" her voice has gone squeaky again. "Do-don't so that so loud!"

"You are the one shouting, woman."

She lowered her voice. "S-sorry."

I just nod once, not sure what to say. I'm not sure why she is apologizing when it is her house, and thus her own rules. She is the ruler of this domain, so she may do as she pleases. I find that as I nod, my head is still oddly heavy.

I feel… tired.

Before I can stop myself my mouth opens, and I draw in an obnoxiously loud breath. The woman sees this, and instead of commenting on the strange behavior, she mimics it, holding her mouth open longer and ending it in a soft small noise as she covers her mouth.

"I guess we're both a little tired." She says.

"Yes." I manage to make the word come out without sounding like a question.

"We should, um, probably get to sleep."

"Of course."

There's a long moment where we both just stand staring at one another, unsure of what to do. I think this is most likely what one would call awkward.

She pushes the tips of her fingers together and nods, looking around. "Um. Yep." She spots something, then, and smiles. "I'm sorry. Um, I'll go get sheets for the couch, and you can sleep there. I- um, I'll get the spare futon out of the closet tomorrow but I don't have time to vacuums it off right now since I'm so tired. Is that okay?"

I don't see why she's asking me. Is that what one is supposed to do when they are in possession of another? Perhaps I failed my job as her keeper if this is true, I never asked if she was okay with the sleeping arraignment I provided her with. Then again, she was a prisoner and I am her…

"What am I?"

I really am tired, it seems. I cannot even ask a full question.

Still, she seems to understand. "I'm… I'm so sorry." Or maybe she does not. "I didn't think that it would happen, but you're not exactly an espada anymore. I was trying to make you human but it didn't all go according to plan! So even though your hollow hole and helmet are gone you still have your spiritual pressure, even though it's hardly there it's starting to build back up. So I would bet you still have all of your powers! On the same not, Ushiro noticed you. So you can be seen by people and I guess that means you're not too much like a hollow anymore… I don't know." She turns to leave then, though she checks continuously over her shoulder to see if I have anything to say while she gets the sheets.

I hadn't even noticed anything was off about my physique. I lift a hand to my head and find, yes, the bone-crest there is gone. I don't understand how I didn't notice it in the mirror earlier; am I truly that drained? I take my hand from there and bring it down to my chest, feeling the new flesh there.

"Odd." I say, drawing out the neck of the T-shirt to peer down at the skin. There isn't even a scar where the hole used to be, the flesh all flawlessly blends together. It is as though there was never a hole there to begin with.

She throws the blankets and such down on the couch and says, "Sorry I couldn't ask first" as she begins to prepare my sleeping place.

"Seeing how I was dead," I say, moving to help her, "I can't find any fault on your part."

"Oh, yeah, huh?" She laughs, gently, and then unfurls the blanket above the couch cushions. "I hope you don't mind the Hello Kitty theme, um, it's from when I was little."

"It doesn't matter." In truth, I actually do find the cat unnerving. It looks nothing like a real cat as it stares up with soulless eyes, ever watching. Am I supposed to sleep underneath anything with that face stamped over it?

"It's for little kids, so your feet might stick out a little." She continues.

They present this creature to children? Perhaps I was wrong about these humans- they truly do start training their young to preserve bravery and strength at a young age.

"But maybe um… maybe once we figure out where you're going and what you're going to do I'll get you something better."

"Hn."

Done, she straightens, hands on her hips. It is an odd thing to notice, but I can't help but say, "Woman, your nails are blue."

She pinks. "Oh! Oh, yeah, I painted them! Do you like it?" She holds her hands out before my face, once again opening her mouth to loudly breath in as she does so.

For some reason, seeing her do this makes _me_ do it. I cover my mouth, just as she had, thinking it a human sign that one is tired. I just don't know why I did it in the first place or so easily responded.

"It is fine." I manage once the odd action is over. "It suites you."

She goes red. "W-well thank you, Ulquiorra. G-goodnight!" And with that, she practically sprints back to her bedroom, loudly slamming the door behind her. A moment later the light under her door goes off and I hear her slide into bed.

Casting one last glance at the odd Greeting Feline sheets, I follow her lead, and very shortly after I begin to fall asleep.

I'd never thought I could have such a peaceful moment with the woman. The war is truly over, isn't it?

Somehow I feel like I have much to do about overcoming the damage I've caused, and have been dealt in turn. Such is the way of war. But it really is over, and so all of the participants may attempt to finally move on.

Perhaps that's why I'm back. Maybe this is the woman's way of putting it all behind her.

Before I know it, I fall into a deep dreamless sleep, lulled there by the sound of the woman's gentle snoring.


	20. Chapter Twenty- Ichigo

|Author's Note|

Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, followed, or favorited- you don't know how much it means to me. We're almost done with this one, guys, tomorrow I will be posting the last chapter. Thank you to everyone for sticking through to the end!

[Chapter Twenty- Ichigo]

The damage that followed the war follows me like a ghost, breathing down my neck with cold breath. I just can't shake it, no matter what I do.

And now this?

I finally had the power to get rid of that damn chill on my spine, the feeling of helplessness. And the moment I have it before me it's _gone_. Why? I tried so, so hard. I did everything they asked, I sweat and bled and ignored everything else in the entire wold for this? To be stabbed in the back and have it all taken away?

"Give it back."

Not again. This isn't happening again. I was so fucking close. I almost had it- my shinigami form was back just long enough for me to taste it; you can't fucking starve me again.

"Give it back!"

I'm not a meal! I'm not an animal, I'm not suppose to be hunted! This power is mine, I made it, I found it, I built it up with every last ounce of will I had. You can't just take it for yourself. Not yet! I have so much to do, so many questions, people to protect. I have to help.

"GIVE IT BACK!"

And then she's there. Hair whipping in the wind, face illuminated by a bright blue glow. She's smiling gently, eyes soft and she has the power I've so desperately been seeking all this time.

Damn. Being stabbed in the back's never felt so good.

"R… Rukia."

"Hey there, idiot." She grins, though there's not too much razor edge to it.

"I… I…" I shift my sword in my hands. It's back. "You.."

"What's with that look?" She laughs. Her hair is short. I like it. "I think you've got something to take care of, don't you?"

I barely even take note of the fight between the Ginjo and I. The others are here- Toshiro, Byakuya, Renji, Kenpatchi, Ikkaku. All of them came here, just for my sake.

_They didn't forget._

All that time thinking they'd left me behind. All that time thinking I'd been used and then cast aside. They hadn't really forgotten about me, had they?

"Rukia… thank you for-"

_WHAM!_

"WHAT THE HELL RUKIA?!"

"That's for acting like a fool! What was with you, moping around? I could feel your depressed spiritual pressure all the way in Soul Society! How dare you think we abandoned you!"

"I-"

"And another thing!" She comes flying at me with a kick to the face, and I go down fast. It's been a while since I've had to dodge anyone but my dad, and so I guess I'm a bit rusty. "What was with you, coming to these sketchy guys? I trained you better than that!"

"Hey!" I sit up fast, cheeks going red at her implications. "Urahara's the one who trained me, damn it!"

"Oh, sure! And I suppose he's the one who gave you your powers in the first place, too. Let me guess, he came with you to Hueco Mundo to help find Inoue, and damn, he must have been the one you rescued back in Soul Society, too!"

"Ha!" I point an accusing finger at her, grinning. "So you admit I rescued you!"

"I never said anything for the sort."

"Just admit it already- I saved your ass back there."

"I recall Renji being the one to cary me to safety."

"And just who the hell do you think was staying behind fighting off your crazy brother?"

Someone clears their throat behind me, and I turn to see that all of the shinigami who'd shown up- Byakuya included- are there.

"In the future, Kurosaki," He says, annoyed. "You would do well to not call me crazy."

Rukia starts to snigger, and so I turn on her. "Hey!"

She straightens up immediately. "Don't yell at me." She says teasingly. "Do you know how long I've been up pouring spiritual pressure into that fake blade? I'm too tired to fight right now."

Renji yawns. "Yeah, we all are."

"Er… I don't think I can put you all up in my house."

"Please." Toshiro rolls his eyes. "Kurosaki, now that you're back to your former self, we have no further business here. Kuchiki will stay as the town's officer, but we don't need to hang around."

"Hey, wait! You guys said if I came I could fight the kid!" Kenpatchi roars.

"Yeah, I want a crack at him too!" Ikkaku, bloody and barely standing, pushes up his sleeves.

"A reminder that your lieutenant is still in the care of your fifth seat." Byakuya smoothly interrupts. "Unless you wish to find your squad's barracks in shambles upon returning, I suggest we all leave now."

They do, slowly, shooting off other comments and such. Rukia and I head home, eventually, and she tells me how dumb I've been while I just stare at her. She's really changed in the last year.

That night she easily slips back into her closet to sleep. For the first time in a long, long time, I can feel her spiritual pressure steadily strumming next to mine. I can smell her in the air, hear her gentle breathing.

"Hey, Rukia?" I whisper.

"Hm?"

I blush. "I missed you."

There's a small pause, and then she answers back, voice a little higher than before. "I… I missed you too."

"You're not going to just go away again, are you?"

She lets out a breathy laugh. "No, Ichigo. I'm… I'm going to stay here."

"For a long time?"

"As long as I can."

"How long is that?"

"Didn't I tell you I was tired?"

"Yeah, but I need to know if you're gonna be missing when I wake up, okay?"

"Fine. How about this- I promise I won't leave without telling you first."

"You swear?"

"I swear it."

"Hm." Finally, I think I might be able to sleep again. "Good."

I do sleep. And god, it's the best night's rest I've had all year.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One- Uryuu- Conclusion

|Author's Note|

Happy New Year! Here's the last chapter. Thanks again to everyone for reading, I hope you enjoyed.

[Chapter twenty-one- Uryuu- Conclusion]

There's this idiotic sandwich place over on the corner of Suika and Asagao. I hate it with a deep intense loathing, mostly because they always put mustard on their sandwiches, even if you mention you don't want any. They're mustard maniacs. The other reason being that they have a total of two servers- a slim girl with cute eyes and a haircut that has inspired many of my own, and then a big beefy guy with a collective vocabulary just short of one hundred words. This wouldn't be a problem if I _ever_ got the cut girl and not the big beefy guy, but as things are the closest she's ever come to any of our tables is one two away. Every time, without fail. And no, it's not my fault- my fashion can't offend her since I've tried wearing different shirts before, and it's not my scent because I've come in with different cologne before, and I never put it on too heavy. It's just dumb luck, and I hate it. "Hey, you're back!" The beefy guy pulls a notepad from his grease-stained apron. "Man, it's a good thing, too. You really need to put some meat on those bones!" "Whatever." "What can I get for you?" "A water, for now. I'm waiting for someone."

It's the only reason I'm here. Orihime called me last night, timidly asking me to come to lunch here so that she could tell me something. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I won't deny that I was pretty excited when she called. Most likely she wants to tell me about her latest sewing success, which would be good to hear. I don't care about the reason she called me, I'm just happy to be with her.

Oddly enough, she's late.

I hate being here by myself. There's a bike gang that frequents this place, and as things stand I would feel like a loser sitting here by myself, but their frequent glances at my empty table aren't helping in the least. They know Kurosaki well enough- they're probably wondering where he is since I'm here.

After all, this is Ichigo's go-to place as of late. He really likes the bread. Which is weird, but whatever. It started out with both Inoue and I disliking the place, but she never had the heart to tell Ichigo, and so she would act excited every time he mentioned it. Then she'd discovered the Hawaiian Sandwich, a collection of barbecue chicken, pineapple chunks, pickles, sardines, and- of course- mustard. She discovered the sandwich the day it was supposed to be taken off the menu. Now she alone keeps it on, and in her honor they renamed it the Orihime Sandwich. So now she loves this place just as much Kurosaki, if not more. She refers to the regulars here by name.

I continue to hate it with every dark corner of my soul.

I'm almost praying that Ichigo will stroll in, just so that I don't have to take another awkward moment of this. One of the biker guys looks back at me and shakes his head, like he feels sorry, maybe thinking I've been stood up on a date.

I check my phone to see if I missed a text from Orihime saying she couldn't come or something, and find that she has sent me a message.

… Text from: Orihime Inoue …

Hey Ishida! Sorry I'm running late, I promise I'll be there soon, but there was a wardrobe explosion! Literally. Never try to stuff to much into an old dresser or bad things happen.

We'll be there soon~

~Orihime-Chan~ :) :) :)

For a moment I stare at the text, wondering both how she managed to make a dresser explode, and then noticing something else. "We." It must have been a typo.

I sigh. Just as I think I'm about to text her back asking how far out she is I sense her spiritual pressure nearby. A moment later I hear her laugh, and then the bell to the door rings. I turn around and find her animated as she talks about something or another to…

Ulquiorra.

He's wearing dark jeans and a white button-up with a black jacket thrown over. He almost looks human, in the clothes, and seems really interested in what Orihime is talking about- as she gets closer I hear that she's explaining the concept of rubber ducks to him. He's completely absorbed in the topic.

I'm so shocked by the sight that I don't have idea what to do as Orihime spots me. She smiles wide and waves, and then… grabs his hand. She grabs Ulquiorra's hand, and then leads him over to the booth I'm sitting at.

"Hi!" She cheers, coming to sit in front of me. She scoots all the way to the wall and then pulls Ulquiorra down to sit beside her. If possible, he looks more uncomfortable than I do.

I stare, wide-eyed.

"Sorry we took so long, I tried to shove all of Ulquiorra's new shirts into the top drawer, and I did it! To get it to stick I put tape on it but then the whole back of the thing just kind of shot off, and there were clothes everywhere so we had to clean up and then while I was getting my make-up on I didn't see Ulquiorra and I ran right into him and got lipstick all over the shoulder of his shirt so he had to change but-"

"What is _he_ doing here?" I interrupt. Call me a grudge-holding bastard, but it's hard to forgive and forget the guy who violently tore your hand of seconds after murdering your friend- as much as I loath referring to Kurosaki as such. Not to mention the whole 'kid napping the girl of your dreams' business. "No, forget that, what is he doing _alive_?"

She doesn't seem too terribly concerned. Neither does he.

"Well," Orihime answered. "I healed him! Ulquiorra was a bad guy, but that doesn't mean he's a _bad_ guy, you know? Like Wreck It Ralf."

"Orihime, now is not the time for Disney comparisons." I find myself saying.

"Right." She nods. "Well, um, the point of this is… I like Ulquiorra. So there."

"Like him?"

She gives a small shrug. "He's not that bad."

He gives her a doubtful look.

"I mean, he didn't want to do all that stuff in the war."

"By the end of our second battle, woman, I can assure you that I did want to silence your friend. It would have been immensely satisfying were it not for your reaction and the situation to follow."

I stare.

She isn't even surprised. "Okay, but you never would have fought him to begin with if it weren't for orders, right?"

He gives a nod.

"And you don't like killing."

He gives a half-hearted shrug.

"And now that you're here you're on our side!"

"As you wish."

I stare at the two of them. _Surely she can't be serious?_ "… Is this the part where I wake up screaming, because this is a little bizarre for real life." _What am I talking about? This is honestly the least weird thing to have happened this year concerning these matters._

"I understand the feeling." Ulquiorra says. "I find it hard to believe I now reside in a world where bath customs include a small plastic water fowl."

"Rubber duckies are for kids." I off-handedly remark.

Orihime pouts. "I think they're too cute to just be for kids."

"All that aside." I shake my head. "He's on our side now?"

"I am." He remarks.

"I wasn't talking to you."

Orihime laughs. "He says he is."

"Okay. Fine. I can live with that. But if he hurts a single hair on your head-"

"Then you will end my life. I understand."

"… I was going to say dismembering, but you know, that's much more realistic."

"But it won't happen!" Orihime sings. "Ulquiorra is my friend!"

"Hn."

"Fine. Fine, fine, fine, I can agree with this. But-"

The big burly man is back. "Inoue!" He yells. "Your usual?"

"Yes please, Don! And the same for him!" She points to Ulquiorra.

"Coming right up! What about you?" He asks me.

"I- I think I'll just have the ham…"

"You got it!"

As he walks away I realize I forgot to order it without mustard. Damn it.

Turning back to Orihime with a sigh, I say, "What are you going to tell Ichigo?"

"I-" She sort of deflates. "I don't know."

"Somehow I doubt he's going to be happy his alleged killer is back from the dead."

The burly man comes back with a trey that has two big pink lemonades with umbrellas and a toothpicks supporting cherries and pineapple slices. He drops the drinks off before Orihime and Ulquiorra and leaves.

"I mean, this is the guy that _punched _a _hole_ in Kurosaki's chest!" I gesture at him. "How-"

I'm stuck in the middle of a sentence, then, rendered speechless by the sight of the man who had once been my greatest fear sipping pink lemonade out of a cutesy yellow straw. He plucks the umbrella from his drink and inspects it as he drinks, seemingly intrigued.

"Woman," He says, "What is the point of this?"

"It's for fun!"

"Hn." He puts it in her drink.

"Yay! Double fun for me!"

I take it back. _This_ is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen.

I shake my head and get back to my point. "What will you-"

My phone buzzes in my pocket. With a groan I take it out and look at the screen.

New Text

… Text from: Kurosaki …

Gotta talk. Where are you?

With a sigh I text him back.

… New Text To: Kurosaki…

your shady sandwich place

Text from Kurosaki

Oh cool we're heading there right now

_Shit._ Well, it looks like Inoue wasn't going to get much time to think over how to tell him the news. And, wait, what does he mean by "we?"

To Kurosaki

how close are you?

I want time to prepare her for the abrupt introduction to Ichigo since she had Ulquiorra with her. I look up at her to say something and find she and Ulquiorra are stacking salt and pepper shakers with their silverware to make a tower.

"Are you sure this is the purpose of these tools?"

"No, but that's okay, this is what I always do. Plus you're making it so that it hasn't fallen yet!"

I clear my throat. "Um, Orihime-"

My phone buzzes, which actually makes me feel a little bitter because she'd been so awed over how Ulquiorra balanced the spoon on the tip of a knife.

New Text

… Text from: Kurosaki …

We're outside now.

My eyes went wide. _Damn. Thanks for the heads-up, Kurosaki!_ "Inoue, um-"

Ding!

We heard the noise as soon as we all felt the familiar spiritual pressure. Not just one, but two.

In walked Ichigo, with Rukia at her side, both of them bickering about the correct way to open a ketchup bottle. Rukia was arguing on the side of putting your nail or thumb under the little notch in the front of the lid and lifting, and Ichigo said that in order to not get your fingers gross you had to hold the entire top and pull it.

"That's ridiculous!" Rukia argued. "Some lids are too secure for that, and if not, you could end up ripping the whole top part of the lid right off!"

"Better than getting that gross dried ketchup crap on your hands."

"If you use your _nail_-"

"How long do you think my nails are?!"

It was then they both saw. Rukia- who we were all surprised to see- merrily waved. Ichigo, however, just stared.

For a second it was as though no one could even breathe. Then, Ichigo gave a small smile

He walked over to our table and stuck out his hand. "Hey." He said.

Ulquiorra looked at the hand for a moment before taking it, giving a firm shake like they were both Americans. "Kurosaki." He greeted.

"Good to see you."

"Hn."

I watch.

Soon, Rukia passes her hellos around, and Orihime happily explains the details of Ulquiorra's new life in our world. Rukia announces that she's going to go shopping soon, and so Orihime says she wants to go and take Ulquiorra to get him new clothes, and since Rukia has no money Ichigo has to go, and then Orihime mentions that because I always repair her clothes I have to come, too.

So, it's all of us together again, with the added old-enemy on our side, huh?

I guess… the war's truly ended.

And maybe there were no victors here. But we all survived. And I suppose that's what counts.

[Finish]

|Secondary Author's note|

I'll be putting out a sequel, sort of! A bunch of Ulquihime following this from Ulquiorra's perspective. I plan to call the story Nothing Simple. If you look forward to more Ulquihime, head on over there. I should have it published tomorrow. (Or should I say next year? hahahahaha... haha... ha. Kill me...)

Thanks so much everyone! I hope your new year is great!


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